Til All Are One

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A few weeks ago I saw the Transformers: The Movie in a theater as part of the 40th Anniversary celebration for the movie. It was promoted as “the Apology Tour” for the movie. You see, when it was first shown in 1986, it traumatized children. No, that’s not an exaggeration. The regular daily Transformers cartoon had the standard sanitized cartoon violence that we were used to while watching our cartoon as kids. Nobody got significantly hurt, everybody escaped an explosion, and soldiers on all sides had awful aim. Transformers: The Movie was different. It was a slaughter. Characters were massacred. Out of all of the character deaths in the movie, none had the impact as the death of Optimus Prime.

If you aren’t familiar with the Transformers, let me give you a little bit of background. Optimus Prime was the leader the Autobots, the good guys in the story. Optimus wasn’t just the leader, he was a virtuous voice. He lead with compassion. He taught lessons about the importance of life and freedom. A famous quote of his was “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.” Yes, Optimus Prime was a robot that transformed into a truck, but he was still a role model for many children. He was even a father figure for a lot. And in 1986, he was murdered in front of everyone.

I never got to see the movie in it’s original run. I found out about the fate of Optimus Prime from classmates and from reading the comic book adaptation of the movie. It didn’t have the impact on me that it on others. But, I was still stunned. Characters in my cartoons rarely died. As a side note, I later found out that some of the cartoons that I watched were imported from Japan, edited, and dubbed to avoid insinuations of character deaths. So, yeah, I was really not used to it happening often.

The reality of the situation is that Hasbro used the movie as a way to wipe out some characters so they could introduce an entire new batch of characters and sell new toys. Another reality of it was the backlash to the death of Optimus Prime was so strong that Hasbro re-worked the GI Joe movie that they were working on to insert voice overs to make it seem like one of the main characters of that series didn’t actually die after being impaled. Instead, he was just “in a coma” and by the end of that, we had heard he was okay.

Optimus Prime returned in the next season of the Transformers cartoon. That was never the plan, but they had to do it.

Just about one year ago I wrote about the Cold Slither concert that I attended and how much of a wonderful experience that was for me. A quick recap of that, Cold Slither is a band based on an episode of the GI Joe: A Real American Hero cartoon. Getting to sing the Cold Slither song that I had been singing for 40 years with a crowd of people all enjoying a real band in front of us was emotional for me. After the show, I talked to the singer of Cold Slither for a moment and thanked him for the experience. A few days later, I read more about his life story and how GI Joe and the Transformers meant so much to him as a kid. I’ve had a year to think about that and I’ve realized that I had a similar story.

Cartons, comic books, and my toy collections were my escape as a kid. I would spend hours upon hours in my basement playing out storylines that I had come up with involving my GI Joe, Transformers, and Star Wars characters. Yes, they shared a universe in my mind. Occasionally, the Masters of the Universe and Voltron characters would show up as well. At the time, I thought that I was just playing with my toys. I didn’t think anything of it. Maybe for me it was just that simple. But, for some, it was a lot more. And I’ll return to that.

As part of the celebration for the 40th Anniversary of the Transformers movie, Hasbro went all out. They commissioned the same people responsible for Cold Slither to re-create the amazing soundtrack for it. They did this as The Knights of Unicron and they had a concert in San Diego to go along with this year’s ComicCon. The concert featured Cold Slither, The Knights of Unicron, and even Jem. I wish I could have seen that live, but I was only able to watch the live stream online (multiple times). The theme of the concert was a Celebration of Life for Optimus Prime and was the kickoff of the Apology Tour for the movie’s re-release.

And then one month after the concert, Peter Cullen died.

Peter Cullen was a prolific voice over actor known for being the narrator on Voltron, the voice of Eeyore, and most famously THE voice of Optimus Prime. His death shook me. It was in that moment that I realized how another piece of my childhood was basically gone. I read and saw so many beautifully heartfelt tributes from Cullen’s friends, colleagues, and co-stars. They all said the same things about him. They talked about his warmth, class, and compassion. But, what got a bigger emotional response out of me was seeing the posts from fans. They all spoke about the impact that Optimus Prime had on them.

Yes. A fictional robot that morphed into a truck. That character meant that much to so many. And I understood.

Children may not realize it at the time, but they’re looking for role models and mentors. And for many kids of my generation, Optimus Prime was that role model. He provided guidance, lessons, and comfort for us. He was the one that we looked to to light our darkest hours. I’m sure that some people won’t understand the true impact that he and other fictional characters have on kids. That impact lasts with us through our adult years. That’s why when I saw the movie earlier in the month, adults in the theater (including myself) wept when it started with a tribute to Peter Cullen. That’s why the theater full of adults (and some with their kids) broke into applause at various times during the showing.

The Transformers is not just a toy line, cartoon series, and comic book series for us. It’s an escape. It’s emotion. And as I said earlier, it’s comfort.

We have so many big problems in the world. We need heroes sometimes. And sometimes our heroes happen to be in the form of a giant robot, who sometimes takes the form of a truck.

Til all are one.

The Weightless Frequency of Fever.

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A little over a week ago, a thought started swirling around me head. It’s something that I’ve thought about a lot since then and I also immediately knew that I would have to write a blog entry about it. I don’t know how well I’m going to properly describe the thought or the wonders of it, but I’m going to try. Also, it wasn’t really so much of a thought as much as it was a wonder. And it’s simply, how amazing is sound?

In today’s world where people cannot agree what’s right or wrong, up or down, moral or immoral, they can all agree on sounds. They may not be able to agree on whether the sounds are good or not, but we know what each one is. Thunder is something that we’ve all heard. It’s distinct. We know it. We agree that it’s thunder.

I don’t go to (or near) beaches often, but when I do, I know that I’ll hear the distinct sounds of wind, ocean water, and seagulls. It’s something I expect. I probably take it for granted. I probably shouldn’t. It really is quite an amazing thing.

I remember a few years ago as Superstorm Sandy was impacting my area. I heard wind gusts and I heard rain. I also heard the distinct sound of a tree across the street cracking before it fell, hit another tree, and then crashed to the ground. That’s a sound that I won’t forget.

Songs are a mixture of sounds blended together. A typical band may have one standard guitar player, a bass guitar player, one drummer, and a vocalist. The combined sounds of the various instruments and voices can make a wide array of different sounds. And the sound of whatever song is created from the combination of those sounds very well might create an emotional response from the person that hears it. It could be complete joy, it could be anger, it could be sadness. Or, if the person really doesn’t like the music, it could be disgust. But, it’s the same sounds creating all of those different reactions.

And even more amazing is that two people can take that same guitar or bass, which are tuned the exact same way, and produce complete different sounds from them.

For the majority of my life, I’ve had birds. The sound of them being excited to see me is comforting. Those sounds have ranged from standard parakeet chirps, to the sounds of them mimicking the 8 year old version of me doing a high pitched scream, to them calling my name, them greeting me with words (which sometimes is as simple as “hello), or just random bird gibberish. Those birds also understand sounds though. They know music. They react to it by signing and dancing. They know anger. They know that by yelling back. They also know that the word “kiss” is followed by a variety of sounds to mimic a kiss sound.

If you were told that you were going to a sporting event at an arena, but you would need to keep your eyes closed until a few minutes after it started, there’s a good chance that you could figure it out by the sounds. If it was basketball, you would hear the squeak of the sneakers on the court or the sound of the ball bouncing. If it was hockey, you might hear the swishing sound of players skating on the rink. I’m fully confident that you heard those sounds in your head as you read this.

What about sounds that most people believe to be bad ones? Fingernails on a blackboard. The sounds of utensils scraping together. Fire alarms. The crunching of cars during a crash. They’re all distinct.

During the summer months, the sound of an air conditioner in my bedroom is soothing. Not only does it produce that “white noise” sound that I like, it also lets me know that the temperature in my room will be enjoyable. It’s a comfort thing. However, the sound of a loud air conditioner in a room that is supposed to be quiet can be a nuisance. The same thing creating different feelings.

There’s some sound that younger people may not be able to identify today. The sound of a rotary phone dialing or the sound of a standard telephone ringing. How about an old fashioned regular typewriter? The kind with the spindle and bell. Those didn’t produce the same sound as the laptop keyboard that I’m typing this on, yet they served basically the same function.

How about babies? When a baby is born and it cries for the first time, it’s the most wonderful sound that new parents will ever hear. Yet, a few months later when that baby is crying in the middle of the night, the same wonderful sound may not seem as wonderful to those new parents. Again, the same sound, but a different reaction.

Sometimes I turn on a soundscape from one of the various apps on my TV or tablet at night to soothe me to sleep. It may be water flowing in a creek. It may be the sounds of outer space. Sometimes, it’s a campfire scene (no, not the one from Blazing Saddles. If you know, you know). Sometimes, it’s “white noise” or “brown noise.” Those sounds will ease my transition to sleep. However, just a few hours later, the same sounds may be what wakes me up. It’s another example of the same sounds having different responses.

As I’ve gotten older, some sounds that I hear frequently are the creaks and cracks in my body. My wrists, by ankles, and my knees make a lot of noise. A loud noise coming from my back can either be a good thing or it can prevent me from being able to stand up on my own. As long I don’t hear those bad sounds, I may go for a run. Even with the sound of music in my ears from the earbuds in there, I’m still able to hear the sound of wind as I pick up speed or if there’s a gust. I can also sometimes here the sound of myself wheezing, but I digress.

I’ve really enjoyed thinking about the wonders of sound over the past week. From the initial “wow” moment to when I started typing this a few minutes ago, I’ve really liked the realization of how amazing certain things in life are. Even the simplest things that most of us experience every day.

As I’ve committed myself to one entry per month and I’m just hours away from missing that mark, I’m going to end this here with this appropriate quote from Douglass Adams:

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”

My Favorite Things – to the Extreme.

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Not too long ago, I was listening to an episode of Bob Smith’s podcast, The Outdated Wrestling Hour. The theme of the episode was “My Favorite Things.” One of the questions was “what is your favorite year of professional wrestling?” I really liked that question and decided to think about what my own answer would be. I really didn’t have to think about it for very long. 1996 came to me very quickly.

1996 may go down as one of the most important years in professional wrestling history. WWE and WCW’s “Monday Night War” was heating up as both companies had shows that aired Monday nights at 8pm. Neither company started off the year with much to talk about. Meanwhile, over in Philadelphia, the most game changing “indy” company of the past 50 years, ECW was about to start (in my opinion) the best year that they ever had.

The summer of 1996 in particular was where things happened in all three companies that changed the direction of the industry forever. On June 23rd, WWE held their King of the Ring event. That was where “Stone Cold” Steve Austin had his “Austin 3:16” speech which started his rise to being the biggest star in the business. Just two weeks later at WCW’s Bash at the Beach, Hulk Hogan was revealed to be the third member of the group that became the New World Order. Those two events were the catalyst of WWE and WCW being set up for the future. For a few years, they were both getting amazing television ratings and were doing great business.

ECW didn’t necessarily have one single moment as obviously huge as “Austin 3:16” or the forming of the NWO, but they had great show after show. If you don’t know, Extreme Championship Wrestling ran shows out of a small venue in Philadelphia that was (unofficially) known as the ECW Arena. ECW’s then owner, Paul Heyman, would eventually say that ECW was there to “disrupt the status quo” of the industry. And they certainly did. 1996 featured some of the future stars of business such as Rob Van Dam, Chris Jericho, the Dudley Boyz, and Rey Mysterio just to name a few. Other legends such as Terry Gordy, Bam Bam Bigelow, Terry Funk, and “Dr. Death” Steve Williams appeared in 1996. And I’ll get to Williams in a few minutes.

I attended every single show that ECW did at the ECW Arena in 1996. In general, ECW would do a show at the ECW Arena every third Saturday. And the night before would be a show at some other town, likely in Pennsylvania. Twice a year, they would do “internet conventions” where fans could get tickets to both weekend shows and attend some ECW events. I participated in the August 2nd and August 3rd version of that. It was the August 3rd show where “Doctor Death” Steve Williams made his ECW debut as the mystery partner against Taz and Brian Lee.

That weekend means the world to me. The wrestling was good. In fact, “The Doctor is In” show on August 3rd is one of most memorable shows that I ever attended, but the wrestling wasn’t the important part of the weekend. I went to Philadelphia with three of my best friends. While I was there, I got to see some of my AOL friends that I didn’t have the ability to keep in touch with as easily as I do now. I even met one of those AOL friends in person for the very first time. That friend has gone on to do some very Elite things in wrestling.

Many times in my entries, I’ve discussed how social media has played such a positive influence on my life. America Online (AOL) was social media, before we called it that. I will never not be grateful for what my (countless) hours browsing AOL wrestling message boards did for me. I have great memories and lifelong friendships. What more can I ask for?

I may do a deeper dive in 1996 in pro wrestling at some point. I’ve covered some of it in other entries. But, getting back to the inspiration for this post, my favorite things. While 1996 may be my favorite year in wrestling, not all of my answers are necessary from 1996. I also offer them with no commentary.

Wrestler: Barry Windham
Babyface: Ricky Steamboat
Heel: Roman Reigns (2020-2024)
Tag Team: Demolition
Woman: Sherri Martel
Manager: Bobby Heenan
Arena: ECW Arena
Match: Sabu and Rob Van Dam vs. The Eliminators (ECW November to Remember ’96)
TV Match: John Cena vs. CM Punk (WWE Money in the Bank 2011)

And the Splinters Deep Down in the Dirt Hold the Secrets of Infinite Worth.

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As I always state in my late June entries, my birthday is in early July. Because of that, I really do see my calendar years as distinct halves. And I will always start to look back at what’s happened over the past six months. However, this birthday is different. This one isn’t just some random number. This is one of those milestone birthdays. This one is 50. My countdown to 50 years of age is now at just 3 days to go (as of when this is being published).

To try to get a gauge of where I am now compared to where I’ve been, I looked back at my entry from 10 years ago. I entered my 40s with questions. In the back of my mind, there was some dread. Ugh. 40s. I’m old. As I’m leaving my 40s, I’ve such a change of perspective. Not only do I no longer see 40 as old, I don’t see 50 as old. I don’t even really see 60 as old, but I don’t want to think about me at 60 just yet.

10 years ago, I talked about my perspective on life. There was a balance that was starting to form there. I think that over the past 10, I’ve continued to find that balance and perspective.

It’s very easy for me to look at where I am at 50 and think I’m not “where I’m supposed to be.” But, where am I supposed to be? I’m here now. Yeah, you may look at the surface and say “here” is the same place that I’ve been, but is it? It’s a matter of perspective. Yes, there’s that word again.

I wasn’t a rebellious teenager. I was, as my 6th grade teacher, Mr. Ring described, “that quiet kid in the corner.” I don’t know if teenage me wanted attention or wanted to be left alone.
I was angry in my 20s. I told people that my anger kept me awake. Looking back, not only do I not know why I was angry, I’ve learned that anger is exhausting.
My 30s were a bit rough at times, but I got through them. My 40s were the decade where I may have come into my own.

Well, look what’s happened in the past decade of my life. We had the COVID-19 Pandemic, which was a pretty big deal. Barely leaving my house to do anything social for about two years was both great and not great. For someone who has dealt with serious social anxiety at times, it was wonderful. But, I also missed doing things. I came out of the Pandemic with a greater appreciation for my friends. I actually became closer with some during that time, which may seme ironic. But, I’m sure that some of you will understand that as well.

I don’t want to look at the completion of 50 years as “the first half of my life” and what’s in front of me as “the second half.” I’m being realistic when I say that I probably crossed that “halfway” threshold a few years ago. But then again, as we’ve recently celebrated the 100th birthdays of Dick Van Dyke and (even more recently) Mel Brooks, anything is possible. Either way, I have optimism that I haven’t had before.

I’m entering my 50s with a determination to get into the best shape of my life. And that includes physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. As much as I’ve struggled with my weight over, getting myself in great physical shape seems to be the easiest of the goals that I just described. Although, I think if I make improvements there, the mental and emotional shape will improve as well. The financial thing, well that’s a big more complicated. I’m working on it. Slowly, but surely.

I spoken of the anger of my 20s. That’s been replaced by gratitude in my 40s. I want to continue that gratitude into my 50s and beyond. I truly like being grateful. I don’t have it so bad. I have friends in various parts of my country. I have friends in other countries. I have friends on other continents. In the past decade alone, I’ve contributed stories to a biography, I’ve appeared in two music videos, I did backing vocals on an album of a band that I’ve been listening to for 30 years, and I recently did an appearance on a podcast that I’ve been listening to for 20 years. None of those things may seem like a big deal to you, but they play a big part of my gratitude. It’s the simple things that I’ve been allowed to do that I appreciate. By all means, I appreciate the big things too, such as my job, my relationship, and others.

I like me. I like my life.
Not long ago, me saying those last two sentences would have seemed out of character for me. They would to be forced out of me. I probably wouldn’t sound confident if I had said them. But, at this very moment, I can confidently say them. I mean them. In my entry from 10 years ago, I was talking about how it was weird that I could discuss having pride any of any of my accomplishments. I think I’ve come a long way since then.

So enough about where I’ve been and where I’ve gotten to. 50 years have been completed. What’s next for me? For the most part, I want to stay on the course that I’m on. As I said, I like where I am. That doesn’t mean that there can’t be tweaks to the course. There’s always detours along the way. Even though I said earlier that I don’t want to think about 60 just yet, I’m genuinely looking forward to revisiting this post in 10 years. I hope that my blog entry at 60 has even more optimism than this one does. Although, who knows what format or service will be available for blogs in 2036? I’ll worry about that when I have to.

In my entry from two years ago I mentioned a quote from Philip Jack Brooks. When asked how he’s doing, he’ll reply “I woke up today.” He feels that every day he wakes up is good and whatever other good stuff happens from there just adds to how good the day is. I’ve adopted that and Warren Zevon’s “enjoy every sandwich” as mantras that keep me grounded. They keep me grateful. It took me a while, but I’m here.

Reset the Routes That You Used to Go. Reset All That You Think That You Know.

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Between MySpace and this site, I’ve been writing blog entries pretty consistently for over 20 years. One of the things that I’ve noticed is that I often have a writer’s block issue happening during the month of May. This year is no different. I really don’t know what to talk about without being overly repetitive.

To be fair, I’ve had difficulty writing these for a while. It’s not because I have issues that I’m afraid to talk about or that I’m scared to address things. It’s that I’m doing well. And, at least for me, doing well hinders my creativity. What a problem to have? I’m not depressed enough to write about things. Is it weird that I’m almost bothered by that?

I’m really in a good place, mentally. Things are far from perfect and I still things that stress me out on a daily basis. I also have some very big things to deal with. And, on top of all of that, I have things that cause me a lot of stress and anxiety. But, I’m able to deal with them a lot better than I used to. I’m on top of things with my health. I’m doing the work.

There’s various tools that I use on a daily basis to enhance my calm. As weird as it sounds, one of them is a TV channel called ZenLife. I often put it on while I’m sitting around or when I need just something calming the background. The yoga and exercise apps that I use have increased my calm. And another thing that I use daily to increase my calm is an app that’s appropriately called Calm.

I’ve come a long way in my mental health journey over the years. I may have found the balance that I’ve been searching for between the ying and the yang of my life. I’ve become, dare I say, optimistic. I know, I know… it’s hard to believe, especially if you’ve known me for a long time.

As a big milestone birthday is approaching (very rapidly), I’ve FINALLY started to believe that I belong. Belonging has often been a big issue for me. I’ve written about this before, in particular in this entry from August 27, 2014. The truth is that not much has changed for me between August of 2014 and now as far as my social life goes. I’m in pretty much the same circles that I was in then. I still basically do the same things that I did then. I see pretty much the same people. But, my mindset has changed about socializing and the “scenes” that I’m in. I appreciate it all so much now. I think that I did then, but it’s different.

I often look back to another entry. This one from just about two years ago. I included some philosophical quotes in there that have really gotten me through a lot of things. The “I woke up today” one is a big one. As simple as it is, I look forward to getting up and doing things every day. I look forward to the next day. I’m grateful for tomorrow.

As I stated at the beginning of this entry, I don’t really have a lot to talk about here right now. I think it’s possible that I may change things up in future entries. Maybe they’ll be less personal and more about specific topics that interest me. I’ve dabbled in that before, but I may challenge myself to write better pieces about my interests. I know that my next entry will be another personal one, and a bit reflective. But, getting back to what I said towards the beginning of this entry, I don’t have too much to say. I’m not currently at odds with the world and I’m pretty comfortable. So, for the sake of continuity, I’ll use another philosophical quote that pretty much sums up my current situation, but sort of in reverse. The quote is from Simon Pegg, “We are never more creative than when we are at odds with the world and there is nothing so artistically destructive as comfort. Princess Leia taught me that.”

We Worry About Echoes While We Are Being Held Back By the Speed of Light.

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This entry is really just a follow up to my entry from January of this year as I continue my journey to be healthier. Without any doubt, I am on the right path. But, also without any doubt, the amount of effort it takes to be healthy increases with age. Sometimes, it also requires assistance. But, as long as you’re willing to do the work, it can be done.

I am very proud to state that since the start of 2026, I have lost 20 pounds. That’s the good news, the bad news all of the weight that I had gained before the start of the year. But, let’s focus on the positive and the fact that I did lose weight. I still want to lose more and I know that it will take work and discipline.
How did I get to where I am now? I didn’t diet. But, just like the success that I had with weight loss a few years ago, I’ve mostly changed how I eat. While I have cut out basically anything that has a lot of sugar in it, I haven’t necessarily stopped snacking. It’s just a different snack. I’m much more likely to have some grapes or pineapple than I am a donut.

I watch my calorie intake, to the best of my ability, and track it on an app. I’m paying attention to what I’m eating. I also try to take in more more calories on days when I’m likely to burn calories in a cardio workout.

And speaking of workouts, I am being very good about that too. Between yoga, stretching, strength training, and running, I’m trying to average 30 minutes per day. Time doesn’t always permit that, but I will accomplish that at least 12 times per month, since that is the minimal requirement to get a bonus from my health insurance provider. Yes, bribery works.

Just a few days ago, I completed my first official 5k of the year. Out of the 51 official races that I’ve done, it was one of the slower finishes that I’ve had, but that fact wasn’t a concern of mine. It was simply that I did it. And I have two more races over the next few weeks that I’ll be competing in. I’m not looking to break any personal records, I’m just looking to do them as part of my health journey.

I’m not doing this on my own. I have started seeing a nutritionist to help me on this path to healthiness. I’ve enjoyed the lessons so far and from those sessions and from reading that I’ve done, I’ve learned a lot about metabolism and what is required and what should be avoided.

But, also as I’ve mentioned, I use a CPAP machine when sleeping. It’s almost impossible to describe how much my energy levels have increased in the almost two years since I began that sleep therapy. The results of my initial sleep study were frightening. I was averaging around 25 times per hour when I would not be breathing well. With the help of the CPAP, it’s now under 3.

I’ve been seeing my chiropractor again somewhat regularly as we attempt to fix some discomfort that I have. I see a dermatologist once per year. I make regular appointments with an ENT specialist. I speak to a therapist every few weeks. I’m bringing up all of these things here to again make it clear that I cannot get healthy on my own. I need assistance from professionals. I’m lucky enough to be in a position where I can get that help, and I am most definitely grateful for that luxury.

Doctors, websites, apps. There’s so many resources out there for our health. We just need to take advantage of them. Even with the stresses that I deal with on a daily basis, I’m so far from the miserably depressed person that I was for many years. I don’t know if I want to say that I’m optimistic, since that would be such an incredible turnaround from what people are used to, but I’m leaning more towards that side of the coin than I am the pessimistic version of myself that I’ve been.

Setbacks will happen. There will be days on the scale where the number that I’m looking at is the same as yesterday or higher than yesterday. There will be a day when my optimism gets crushed. There will be days when my back is bad. There will be days when things aren’t going well. The trick is to keep that forward momentum. And for once, I think I’m heading in that direction.

You Had Your Time, You Had the Power. You’ve Yet to Have Your Finest Hour.

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Talk radio has always been a big part of my life. Even before I started listening to it on my own, it was playing in my house. I don’t remember if my mother was the one listening to him, or if it was when my grandmother would visit, but I remember hearing Bernard Meltzer’s call-in advice quite a bit. He was most famous for asking his callers “What’s your problem?”

I was aware of Meltzer and some other names that were big in the New York area such as the obvious ones like Don Imus and Howard Stern. But, I wasn’t listening. Maybe because I was too young, but I just wasn’t listening on my own. But, that changed for me in August of 1989. My dad was aware that SportsRadio 66, WFAN in New York had a one hour show late on Saturday mornings that discussed professional wrestling. And he let me stay up one weekend shortly before WWE’s SummerSlam ’89. His hope was that I would hear spoilers and not want to order the show on pay-per-view. Well, I listened to the show, I heard some speculation as to what was going to happen, and we still ordered the show.

But, something happened that night while listening to WFAN. Or more specifically, something didn’t happen. I never changed the frequency.

The host that I listened to that night was Jody McDonald. His shows were overnights on weekends. But, it was the weeknight overnight show ,that really became my favorite. The host of that was Steve Somers. While having a very good amount of sports knowledge, he had a unique delivery and show. He blended humor, inside jokes, and production to the broadcast, which was from midnight until 6am. Being that the overnight show was longer than most of the other shows on the air, callers were able to get a bit more time to talk on the air, and many of them became regulars and developed cult-like followings.

I used to listen to WFAN any chance that I could. I knew the station’s entire schedule. I knew all of the hosts. I even called in a few times and made it to the air three times. Once with Jody McDonald where I discussed the Yankees not using a pitched that I liked (Chuck Cary), once with Steve Somers where I talked about the Mets’ fans needing to get over losing Daryl Strawberry to the Los Angeles Dodgers, and once with WFAN’s flagship show Mike & and the Mad Dog where I talked about the Yankees not needing to sign Jason Giambi since they didn’t need a big name to boost ratings.

If I wasn’t listening to WFAN late at night, I was watching movies. And two movies that also had an impact on my fascination with radio were Pump Up the Volume and Talk Radio. Pump Up the Volume spoke to Gen-X and the angst we felt. It also made “pirate radio” look really cool. Talk Radio showed how powerful the medium can be. It also showed the danger of it, which I’ll get into a little later.

In the mid-90s, while riding in a bus or driving to college, I would listen to Howard Stern in the morning. It was some of the funniest stuff that I ever heard. In fact, I remember one time when I was late for a class because I was listening to Gilbert Gottfried on Stern’s show appearing as Rabbi Farrakhan and I would not leave my car until it was done. I’m not going to explain that bit, but it’s on YouTube. The irony is that the class that I was late to was a radio production class. Yes, I went to school for radio.

After I got my associates degree in communication, I went to the Connecticut School of Broadcasting in Hasbrouck Heights, NJ. While I was there, I got more of education in TV and radio production. I also heard horror stories from many of the schools guest instructors, who were all working in TV and radio somewhere. Some of them would talk about how great the business was and some would talk about how difficult it was to make a career in it. It was also a weird time in the radio industry just as Satellite Radio was about to start. There were also a lot of corporate mergers and radio jobs were becoming more difficult to find. I never had dreams of being a personality, I preferred the behind-the-scenes production.

Just about one week after I graduated from the Connecticut School of Broadcasting, I accepted a job with a retail company that offered me a lot more stability than I thought would have in the world of radio, and I never really looked back.

Talk radio, and now podcasts, are community building. The listeners can feel bonds with the hosts. It’s like we know them personally. Sometimes, they feel like family. Talk radio can also be very dangerous. The power of political talk radio is very obvious. Check out the great documentary called the Brainwashing of My Dad and you’ll see the impact of someone who spends all day listening to hate speech of a particular ideology and you’ll see what it can do to people.

While WFAN is still the pre-set on the radio in my room, and I use it as one of the (many) alarms that I use in the morning to (attempt to) wake up, I don’t listen to it as much. My radio listening is mostly podcasts, but I’m getting the same experience. I get the entertainment and the community.

This entry was partially inspired by the Steve Somers’ memoir that I just read called Me Here, You There: My Three Decades Overnight, Under the Covers, Schmoozing S-P-O-R-T-S as Captain Midnight for WFAN.” If you are familiar with him, you understand all of that. The book reminded me of how much I enjoyed listening to him and the rest of WFAN’s lineup. It also reminded me of how much I enjoy radio and podcasts now. At times, they’re a lifeline. A distraction from reality. They’re a in-depth entertaining history lesson of a whatever subject I’ve chosen to learn about it. Talk radio will never go away. It may evolve, but it will survive in one form or another. It’s a valuable thing and I’m grateful for what I’ve gotten out of it.

So Go Ahead, Put Us Down. One of These Days, We’ll Turn it Around.

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Like many people, the recent death of Robert Carradine had me thinking about the movie that he’s most famous for, 1984’s Revenge of the Nerds. While some aspects of that movie are now looked at as problematic, and probably rightfully so, the underlying message of the movie still holds up. “Nerds” aren’t bad people. “Nerds,” like everyone else, should not be made fun of, put down, insulted, bullied, picked-on, or whatever other form of insult that people can do.

While Revenge of the Nerds did shine somewhat of a light on “nerds,” it wasn’t really until TV’s The Big Bang Theory where nerds were truly accepted and not mocked. At least, that’s how I see it. That TV show came out 23 years after the first Revenge of the Nerds movie. It did so much for geek culture, as it’s often referred to. It made it seem cool for people with interests in science, science fiction, comic books, cartoons, and board games to go on with their interests.

As someone who grew up in the 1980s, I didn’t have it that easy. I was (and still am) a bit of nerd, or geek, or whatever. I like comic books, Star Wars, Star Trek, GI Joe, Transformers, Doctor Who, Professional Wrestling, obscure TV shows and movies, and various other things that don’t fit into “mainstream.” I was often belittled for my interests. And that didn’t just happen outside of my house.

When you’re brought up to believe that the things that you like aren’t good, it’s difficult to take pride in things. When you hear “your cartoon is stupid and the animation isn’t as good as what I watched” you can develop an inferiority complex. It can be very hard not to hear those dissenting voices, even long after they’ve stopped speaking.

In previous entries, I’ve discussed the bullying that I faced. I’ve discussed how it impacted me then. The ridicule had residual effects on me. While I do have a my circles of friends and outlets to discuss my interests, I wasn’t always that lucky. And some people still aren’t. It’s taken me (very) close to 50 years to be (mostly) comfortable with who I am.

Being able to freely discuss things that are of interest to you is a wonderful feeling. Being able to freely discuss with it others that are also interested in those things is even better. The Internet wasn’t a thing when I was a kid in the 1980s. While I was using America Online to discuss Professional Wrestling with strangers who went on to become lifelong friends of mine in the 1990s, the Internet wasn’t as readily available as it is today.
We hear way too many stories about people being cyber-bullied today. The Internet, while a wonderful thing, can be also be dangerous. I don’t have any tolerance for intolerance.

I’m (mostly) okay with myself nowadays. Yeah, I have things to work on. My self-esteem is okay. My social life is good. I have the outlets that I wish were available 30 years ago. I survived the bullying. I have the scars to prove it. I’ll be okay. I guess the point of this entry is that I want to thank Lewis Skolnik, Gilbert Lowe, Dudley Dawson, Harold Wormser, Sheldon Cooper, Leonard Hofstadter, and the rest of their friends for making it okay for people like to me realize that it’s okay to be different.

Thanks guys, and thank YOU Robert. I’m sorry that life was rough for you at times. You left this place better than you found it.

Robert Carradine (3/24/1954 – 2/23/2026).

Well, I went to the doctor, I said, “I’m feeling kinda rough…”

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I try my best to be serious about my health. I make sure do have my annual physical. I don’t just do this because it’s what I should do. I do it because I’ve seen what happens when you don’t do it. Over the past few years, I have learned something important about myself. It takes a little more effort to stay healthy.

I’m (rapidly) approaching 50 years of age. I’ve experienced a slowing down of my metabolism. The amount of effort that it used to take to lose 10 pounds isn’t enough anymore. I ache in places that I didn’t use to ache.

I don’t want to be someone that relies on too many pills to regulate things in my body. I want to avoid that for as long as I can. And, so far, I’m basically okay there.

This year’s physical was just about two weeks ago. As a result of some questions that I had an how the results of my tests came back, I’ve already seen some more doctors, and I have more appointments on the way. So far, it looks like everything that’s wrong with me is a result of being overweight. I had put in a plan in place to tackle that even before I had the physical.

I’ve made some changes to my diet. I’m eating better again. I’m eating slower. I’m drinking more water. I’ve (mostly) cut out sugar. I’m paying attention to my calorie count. I’ve started exercising regularly again and I’m following a plan that I’ve come up to get myself back into shape for some 5k races later in the year. By no means is it an elaborate plan, but there’s enough of a plan.

My physical health is not the only thing that I’ve been put a concentrated effort into working on in 2026. I’ve also put a much greater focus on my mental health. I’ve found using a particular app a few times per day has kept me very grounded with my mental health. I’m trying my best to practice mindfulness and to just continue with the gratitude for all that I have.

My physical health and my mental health are not things that I take for granted. Both require consistent effort to remain in good shape. I’m doing the work.

The year is only one month old, but I think I’m on the right track. I’m genuinely optimistic about my health.

I’m not ashamed of getting help with my health. I have sleep apnea. I treat that with a CPAP machine. It’s greatly increased my sleep. I have depression and anxiety issues. I treat that with therapy. I’m overweight. I’ve begun seeing a nutritionist/dietitian for that.

Health insurance companies truly do want you to be healthy. Sure, it’s mostly due to them not wanting to pay out on services, but that’s almost not the point. If you go to your provider’s website, you’ll find so many tools and services that are designed to keep you healthy. I’ve earned cash rewards from my provider this year due completing various activities. All that you need to do is look at the website and I’m sure you’ll find rewards programs and discounts on health related things. I’m glad that I did.

I used to be angry, resentful, cynical, and bitter. I think it’s fair to say that I’m (almost) optimistic about things now. I have a lot of gratitude and I’m basically in a much better place. I included the “almost” there because it’s impossible to be completely optimistic about life when you see what’s happening in the world right now. But, I know that eventually things will turn around. It may get (a lot) worse before it gets better, but it will get better.

A joke that I’ve made about my health recently is that I’ve told people that I defer to a song by Warren Zevon (which you can listen to here and this blog’s title references) to describe my health. I don’t think that I’m quite as bad as the song describes, but I understand the sentiment of the song. Being healthy requires effort. It doesn’t just happen. I’m doing the work and I’m pretty confident that I’m going to see good results when I get my next round of tests.

In This Thrall of the New Day.

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I always write an entry at the end of each year where I look back and ask myself the same question that I asked myself one year earlier. “Am I better off than I was one year ago?” This year, the answer seems to be “yes.” Is everything in my life perfect? Not even close, but my life being better than it was one year ago is obvious, even to me.

Of course, I have “areas of opportunity” as they say in the retail/corporate world. I have things that I need to work on and improve. I have changes to make. I have decisions to make. The upcoming year could result in a lot of new things for me.

An obvious (to me) area that I need to work on is my physical self. I didn’t put enough work in during 2025 and I let myself go a bit. For years, I’ve noticed how much more difficult it gets to keep my weight down and to keep myself in good shape. I’ve also noticed how much difficult it gets when my age hits an age evenly divisible by 10. And as I approach another one of those milestones, the difficulty has increased yet again. I am completely committing myself to losing weight, getting in shape, and running some 5k races in 2026. Not only do I plan to run in those races, but I plan to have results that I’m proud of.

My belief is that if I get my physical health in order (which includes my weight and some other issues), that my mental health will improve as well. I’m taking some steps to get my head in the right space, beyond what I’ve already said. I’m going to attempt to find ways to relax, stay calm, and keep my head clear of negativity in 2026. I know that’s always easier said than done, and I also know that there’s lots of factors going on in the world that will make it more difficult for me, but I’m prepared to face the challenge.

In my 2024 year-end entry, I discussed some of the things that I was doing for my mental health. Various apps, attempting meditation, and stuff like that. I strayed from that a bit during this year, but I have some new apps and I’m again committing myself to it all once the New Year starts.

One area that I’ve constantly struggled with is my financial situation. I’ve never truly been above water here. I’ve gone under a few times, but I haven’t drown. Expenses never stop and they always seem to grow at a faster rate than my income. There will be some tweaking of my spending ways and a few plans of action in 2026 to see how much better I can end up here.

Two things that I always mention in my end of year entry are my reading goals and a specific workout goal. My reading goal is usually just to read 12 books throughout the calendar year. I finished a grand total of zero books in 2025. Ironically, I did start one about time management, but I never finished it. I will re-start and finish that book VERY EARLY in 2026 and I WILL meet my reading goal for the year. It’s something that I enjoy and it will help my mental health.

I’ve already said that I’ve been lax with the workouts. The workout goal that I always have is to successfully do a Crow (or Black Crow in the DDPY world) pose. I did not go it this year. I did it in 2024. I’m legitimately not sure if my arms are built for this pose, but I will continue to try to do it. If I keep at my workout goals, I should be able to achieve it.

Workouts aren’t the only thing that I plan on doing more of. I also plan to eat better. That doesn’t necessarily mean eating less of the things that I enjoy. It really means to eat smarter. Back in 2022, I had an app for weight loss and I really did enjoy the lessons from that app. Due to that program no longer being covered by my insurance, I no longer have access to it. But, I do remember the main lessons from it and I will be making them part of my daily life once again. This, and the workouts, should help me improve many aspects of my well-being.

I experienced a few really great moments in my social life during the year as well. A one year anniversary. Some fun events. A few brief getaways and road trips. I don’t like getting into details of my personal life on here, but I’ll say that I’m happy. I believe that things are good. And I will do the work to make them even better.

The theme of my 2024 year-end entry was really that I had a lot of gratitude and appreciation. Those two things are still very prevalent for me. Life is not easy. It doesn’t seem to get easier. The world is currently a very weird place. There’s things that I usually celebrate that I don’t know if I’ll want to celebrate them in 2026. I’ll explore that internally, and maybe here, over the course of the next few months. But, I also don’t want to focus on that right now. I just want to focus on the positive, which is that I’m grateful for what (and who) I have. I appreciate where I am.

My New Year’s Resolution is ALWAYS the same. It’s always “I want to make it better.” I want my 2026 to be better than my 2025. I’m going to make a significant effort to see that through. It may be a difficult road at times, but I’m going to keep navigating forward. I don’t know where I’ll end up on that road, but I think I’m going to be well equipped to handle the voyage.