And the Splinters Deep Down in the Dirt Hold the Secrets of Infinite Worth.

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As I always state in my late June entries, my birthday is in early July. Because of that, I really do see my calendar years as distinct halves. And I will always start to look back at what’s happened over the past six months. However, this birthday is different. This one isn’t just some random number. This is one of those milestone birthdays. This one is 50. My countdown to 50 years of age is now at just 3 days to go (as of when this is being published).

To try to get a gauge of where I am now compared to where I’ve been, I looked back at my entry from 10 years ago. I entered my 40s with questions. In the back of my mind, there was some dread. Ugh. 40s. I’m old. As I’m leaving my 40s, I’ve such a change of perspective. Not only do I no longer see 40 as old, I don’t see 50 as old. I don’t even really see 60 as old, but I don’t want to think about me at 60 just yet.

10 years ago, I talked about my perspective on life. There was a balance that was starting to form there. I think that over the past 10, I’ve continued to find that balance and perspective.

It’s very easy for me to look at where I am at 50 and think I’m not “where I’m supposed to be.” But, where am I supposed to be? I’m here now. Yeah, you may look at the surface and say “here” is the same place that I’ve been, but is it? It’s a matter of perspective. Yes, there’s that word again.

I wasn’t a rebellious teenager. I was, as my 6th grade teacher, Mr. Ring described, “that quiet kid in the corner.” I don’t know if teenage me wanted attention or wanted to be left alone.
I was angry in my 20s. I told people that my anger kept me awake. Looking back, not only do I not know why I was angry, I’ve learned that anger is exhausting.
My 30s were a bit rough at times, but I got through them. My 40s were the decade where I may have come into my own.

Well, look what’s happened in the past decade of my life. We had the COVID-19 Pandemic, which was a pretty big deal. Barely leaving my house to do anything social for about two years was both great and not great. For someone who has dealt with serious social anxiety at times, it was wonderful. But, I also missed doing things. I came out of the Pandemic with a greater appreciation for my friends. I actually became closer with some during that time, which may seme ironic. But, I’m sure that some of you will understand that as well.

I don’t want to look at the completion of 50 years as “the first half of my life” and what’s in front of me as “the second half.” I’m being realistic when I say that I probably crossed that “halfway” threshold a few years ago. But then again, as we’ve recently celebrated the 100th birthdays of Dick Van Dyke and (even more recently) Mel Brooks, anything is possible. Either way, I have optimism that I haven’t had before.

I’m entering my 50s with a determination to get into the best shape of my life. And that includes physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. As much as I’ve struggled with my weight over, getting myself in great physical shape seems to be the easiest of the goals that I just described. Although, I think if I make improvements there, the mental and emotional shape will improve as well. The financial thing, well that’s a big more complicated. I’m working on it. Slowly, but surely.

I spoken of the anger of my 20s. That’s been replaced by gratitude in my 40s. I want to continue that gratitude into my 50s and beyond. I truly like being grateful. I don’t have it so bad. I have friends in various parts of my country. I have friends in other countries. I have friends on other continents. In the past decade alone, I’ve contributed stories to a biography, I’ve appeared in two music videos, I did backing vocals on an album of a band that I’ve been listening to for 30 years, and I recently did an appearance on a podcast that I’ve been listening to for 20 years. None of those things may seem like a big deal to you, but they play a big part of my gratitude. It’s the simple things that I’ve been allowed to do that I appreciate. By all means, I appreciate the big things too, such as my job, my relationship, and others.

I like me. I like my life.
Not long ago, me saying those last two sentences would have seemed out of character for me. They would to be forced out of me. I probably wouldn’t sound confident if I had said them. But, at this very moment, I can confidently say them. I mean them. In my entry from 10 years ago, I was talking about how it was weird that I could discuss having pride any of any of my accomplishments. I think I’ve come a long way since then.

So enough about where I’ve been and where I’ve gotten to. 50 years have been completed. What’s next for me? For the most part, I want to stay on the course that I’m on. As I said, I like where I am. That doesn’t mean that there can’t be tweaks to the course. There’s always detours along the way. Even though I said earlier that I don’t want to think about 60 just yet, I’m genuinely looking forward to revisiting this post in 10 years. I hope that my blog entry at 60 has even more optimism than this one does. Although, who knows what format or service will be available for blogs in 2036? I’ll worry about that when I have to.

In my entry from two years ago I mentioned a quote from Philip Jack Brooks. When asked how he’s doing, he’ll reply “I woke up today.” He feels that every day he wakes up is good and whatever other good stuff happens from there just adds to how good the day is. I’ve adopted that and Warren Zevon’s “enjoy every sandwich” as mantras that keep me grounded. They keep me grateful. It took me a while, but I’m here.

Reset the Routes That You Used to Go. Reset All That You Think That You Know.

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Between MySpace and this site, I’ve been writing blog entries pretty consistently for over 20 years. One of the things that I’ve noticed is that I often have a writer’s block issue happening during the month of May. This year is no different. I really don’t know what to talk about without being overly repetitive.

To be fair, I’ve had difficulty writing these for a while. It’s not because I have issues that I’m afraid to talk about or that I’m scared to address things. It’s that I’m doing well. And, at least for me, doing well hinders my creativity. What a problem to have? I’m not depressed enough to write about things. Is it weird that I’m almost bothered by that?

I’m really in a good place, mentally. Things are far from perfect and I still things that stress me out on a daily basis. I also have some very big things to deal with. And, on top of all of that, I have things that cause me a lot of stress and anxiety. But, I’m able to deal with them a lot better than I used to. I’m on top of things with my health. I’m doing the work.

There’s various tools that I use on a daily basis to enhance my calm. As weird as it sounds, one of them is a TV channel called ZenLife. I often put it on while I’m sitting around or when I need just something calming the background. The yoga and exercise apps that I use have increased my calm. And another thing that I use daily to increase my calm is an app that’s appropriately called Calm.

I’ve come a long way in my mental health journey over the years. I may have found the balance that I’ve been searching for between the ying and the yang of my life. I’ve become, dare I say, optimistic. I know, I know… it’s hard to believe, especially if you’ve known me for a long time.

As a big milestone birthday is approaching (very rapidly), I’ve FINALLY started to believe that I belong. Belonging has often been a big issue for me. I’ve written about this before, in particular in this entry from August 27, 2014. The truth is that not much has changed for me between August of 2014 and now as far as my social life goes. I’m in pretty much the same circles that I was in then. I still basically do the same things that I did then. I see pretty much the same people. But, my mindset has changed about socializing and the “scenes” that I’m in. I appreciate it all so much now. I think that I did then, but it’s different.

I often look back to another entry. This one from just about two years ago. I included some philosophical quotes in there that have really gotten me through a lot of things. The “I woke up today” one is a big one. As simple as it is, I look forward to getting up and doing things every day. I look forward to the next day. I’m grateful for tomorrow.

As I stated at the beginning of this entry, I don’t really have a lot to talk about here right now. I think it’s possible that I may change things up in future entries. Maybe they’ll be less personal and more about specific topics that interest me. I’ve dabbled in that before, but I may challenge myself to write better pieces about my interests. I know that my next entry will be another personal one, and a bit reflective. But, getting back to what I said towards the beginning of this entry, I don’t have too much to say. I’m not currently at odds with the world and I’m pretty comfortable. So, for the sake of continuity, I’ll use another philosophical quote that pretty much sums up my current situation, but sort of in reverse. The quote is from Simon Pegg, “We are never more creative than when we are at odds with the world and there is nothing so artistically destructive as comfort. Princess Leia taught me that.”

We Worry About Echoes While We Are Being Held Back By the Speed of Light.

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This entry is really just a follow up to my entry from January of this year as I continue my journey to be healthier. Without any doubt, I am on the right path. But, also without any doubt, the amount of effort it takes to be healthy increases with age. Sometimes, it also requires assistance. But, as long as you’re willing to do the work, it can be done.

I am very proud to state that since the start of 2026, I have lost 20 pounds. That’s the good news, the bad news all of the weight that I had gained before the start of the year. But, let’s focus on the positive and the fact that I did lose weight. I still want to lose more and I know that it will take work and discipline.
How did I get to where I am now? I didn’t diet. But, just like the success that I had with weight loss a few years ago, I’ve mostly changed how I eat. While I have cut out basically anything that has a lot of sugar in it, I haven’t necessarily stopped snacking. It’s just a different snack. I’m much more likely to have some grapes or pineapple than I am a donut.

I watch my calorie intake, to the best of my ability, and track it on an app. I’m paying attention to what I’m eating. I also try to take in more more calories on days when I’m likely to burn calories in a cardio workout.

And speaking of workouts, I am being very good about that too. Between yoga, stretching, strength training, and running, I’m trying to average 30 minutes per day. Time doesn’t always permit that, but I will accomplish that at least 12 times per month, since that is the minimal requirement to get a bonus from my health insurance provider. Yes, bribery works.

Just a few days ago, I completed my first official 5k of the year. Out of the 51 official races that I’ve done, it was one of the slower finishes that I’ve had, but that fact wasn’t a concern of mine. It was simply that I did it. And I have two more races over the next few weeks that I’ll be competing in. I’m not looking to break any personal records, I’m just looking to do them as part of my health journey.

I’m not doing this on my own. I have started seeing a nutritionist to help me on this path to healthiness. I’ve enjoyed the lessons so far and from those sessions and from reading that I’ve done, I’ve learned a lot about metabolism and what is required and what should be avoided.

But, also as I’ve mentioned, I use a CPAP machine when sleeping. It’s almost impossible to describe how much my energy levels have increased in the almost two years since I began that sleep therapy. The results of my initial sleep study were frightening. I was averaging around 25 times per hour when I would not be breathing well. With the help of the CPAP, it’s now under 3.

I’ve been seeing my chiropractor again somewhat regularly as we attempt to fix some discomfort that I have. I see a dermatologist once per year. I make regular appointments with an ENT specialist. I speak to a therapist every few weeks. I’m bringing up all of these things here to again make it clear that I cannot get healthy on my own. I need assistance from professionals. I’m lucky enough to be in a position where I can get that help, and I am most definitely grateful for that luxury.

Doctors, websites, apps. There’s so many resources out there for our health. We just need to take advantage of them. Even with the stresses that I deal with on a daily basis, I’m so far from the miserably depressed person that I was for many years. I don’t know if I want to say that I’m optimistic, since that would be such an incredible turnaround from what people are used to, but I’m leaning more towards that side of the coin than I am the pessimistic version of myself that I’ve been.

Setbacks will happen. There will be days on the scale where the number that I’m looking at is the same as yesterday or higher than yesterday. There will be a day when my optimism gets crushed. There will be days when my back is bad. There will be days when things aren’t going well. The trick is to keep that forward momentum. And for once, I think I’m heading in that direction.

You Had Your Time, You Had the Power. You’ve Yet to Have Your Finest Hour.

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Talk radio has always been a big part of my life. Even before I started listening to it on my own, it was playing in my house. I don’t remember if my mother was the one listening to him, or if it was when my grandmother would visit, but I remember hearing Bernard Meltzer’s call-in advice quite a bit. He was most famous for asking his callers “What’s your problem?”

I was aware of Meltzer and some other names that were big in the New York area such as the obvious ones like Don Imus and Howard Stern. But, I wasn’t listening. Maybe because I was too young, but I just wasn’t listening on my own. But, that changed for me in August of 1989. My dad was aware that SportsRadio 66, WFAN in New York had a one hour show late on Saturday mornings that discussed professional wrestling. And he let me stay up one weekend shortly before WWE’s SummerSlam ’89. His hope was that I would hear spoilers and not want to order the show on pay-per-view. Well, I listened to the show, I heard some speculation as to what was going to happen, and we still ordered the show.

But, something happened that night while listening to WFAN. Or more specifically, something didn’t happen. I never changed the frequency.

The host that I listened to that night was Jody McDonald. His shows were overnights on weekends. But, it was the weeknight overnight show ,that really became my favorite. The host of that was Steve Somers. While having a very good amount of sports knowledge, he had a unique delivery and show. He blended humor, inside jokes, and production to the broadcast, which was from midnight until 6am. Being that the overnight show was longer than most of the other shows on the air, callers were able to get a bit more time to talk on the air, and many of them became regulars and developed cult-like followings.

I used to listen to WFAN any chance that I could. I knew the station’s entire schedule. I knew all of the hosts. I even called in a few times and made it to the air three times. Once with Jody McDonald where I discussed the Yankees not using a pitched that I liked (Chuck Cary), once with Steve Somers where I talked about the Mets’ fans needing to get over losing Daryl Strawberry to the Los Angeles Dodgers, and once with WFAN’s flagship show Mike & and the Mad Dog where I talked about the Yankees not needing to sign Jason Giambi since they didn’t need a big name to boost ratings.

If I wasn’t listening to WFAN late at night, I was watching movies. And two movies that also had an impact on my fascination with radio were Pump Up the Volume and Talk Radio. Pump Up the Volume spoke to Gen-X and the angst we felt. It also made “pirate radio” look really cool. Talk Radio showed how powerful the medium can be. It also showed the danger of it, which I’ll get into a little later.

In the mid-90s, while riding in a bus or driving to college, I would listen to Howard Stern in the morning. It was some of the funniest stuff that I ever heard. In fact, I remember one time when I was late for a class because I was listening to Gilbert Gottfried on Stern’s show appearing as Rabbi Farrakhan and I would not leave my car until it was done. I’m not going to explain that bit, but it’s on YouTube. The irony is that the class that I was late to was a radio production class. Yes, I went to school for radio.

After I got my associates degree in communication, I went to the Connecticut School of Broadcasting in Hasbrouck Heights, NJ. While I was there, I got more of education in TV and radio production. I also heard horror stories from many of the schools guest instructors, who were all working in TV and radio somewhere. Some of them would talk about how great the business was and some would talk about how difficult it was to make a career in it. It was also a weird time in the radio industry just as Satellite Radio was about to start. There were also a lot of corporate mergers and radio jobs were becoming more difficult to find. I never had dreams of being a personality, I preferred the behind-the-scenes production.

Just about one week after I graduated from the Connecticut School of Broadcasting, I accepted a job with a retail company that offered me a lot more stability than I thought would have in the world of radio, and I never really looked back.

Talk radio, and now podcasts, are community building. The listeners can feel bonds with the hosts. It’s like we know them personally. Sometimes, they feel like family. Talk radio can also be very dangerous. The power of political talk radio is very obvious. Check out the great documentary called the Brainwashing of My Dad and you’ll see the impact of someone who spends all day listening to hate speech of a particular ideology and you’ll see what it can do to people.

While WFAN is still the pre-set on the radio in my room, and I use it as one of the (many) alarms that I use in the morning to (attempt to) wake up, I don’t listen to it as much. My radio listening is mostly podcasts, but I’m getting the same experience. I get the entertainment and the community.

This entry was partially inspired by the Steve Somers’ memoir that I just read called Me Here, You There: My Three Decades Overnight, Under the Covers, Schmoozing S-P-O-R-T-S as Captain Midnight for WFAN.” If you are familiar with him, you understand all of that. The book reminded me of how much I enjoyed listening to him and the rest of WFAN’s lineup. It also reminded me of how much I enjoy radio and podcasts now. At times, they’re a lifeline. A distraction from reality. They’re a in-depth entertaining history lesson of a whatever subject I’ve chosen to learn about it. Talk radio will never go away. It may evolve, but it will survive in one form or another. It’s a valuable thing and I’m grateful for what I’ve gotten out of it.

So Go Ahead, Put Us Down. One of These Days, We’ll Turn it Around.

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Like many people, the recent death of Robert Carradine had me thinking about the movie that he’s most famous for, 1984’s Revenge of the Nerds. While some aspects of that movie are now looked at as problematic, and probably rightfully so, the underlying message of the movie still holds up. “Nerds” aren’t bad people. “Nerds,” like everyone else, should not be made fun of, put down, insulted, bullied, picked-on, or whatever other form of insult that people can do.

While Revenge of the Nerds did shine somewhat of a light on “nerds,” it wasn’t really until TV’s The Big Bang Theory where nerds were truly accepted and not mocked. At least, that’s how I see it. That TV show came out 23 years after the first Revenge of the Nerds movie. It did so much for geek culture, as it’s often referred to. It made it seem cool for people with interests in science, science fiction, comic books, cartoons, and board games to go on with their interests.

As someone who grew up in the 1980s, I didn’t have it that easy. I was (and still am) a bit of nerd, or geek, or whatever. I like comic books, Star Wars, Star Trek, GI Joe, Transformers, Doctor Who, Professional Wrestling, obscure TV shows and movies, and various other things that don’t fit into “mainstream.” I was often belittled for my interests. And that didn’t just happen outside of my house.

When you’re brought up to believe that the things that you like aren’t good, it’s difficult to take pride in things. When you hear “your cartoon is stupid and the animation isn’t as good as what I watched” you can develop an inferiority complex. It can be very hard not to hear those dissenting voices, even long after they’ve stopped speaking.

In previous entries, I’ve discussed the bullying that I faced. I’ve discussed how it impacted me then. The ridicule had residual effects on me. While I do have a my circles of friends and outlets to discuss my interests, I wasn’t always that lucky. And some people still aren’t. It’s taken me (very) close to 50 years to be (mostly) comfortable with who I am.

Being able to freely discuss things that are of interest to you is a wonderful feeling. Being able to freely discuss with it others that are also interested in those things is even better. The Internet wasn’t a thing when I was a kid in the 1980s. While I was using America Online to discuss Professional Wrestling with strangers who went on to become lifelong friends of mine in the 1990s, the Internet wasn’t as readily available as it is today.
We hear way too many stories about people being cyber-bullied today. The Internet, while a wonderful thing, can be also be dangerous. I don’t have any tolerance for intolerance.

I’m (mostly) okay with myself nowadays. Yeah, I have things to work on. My self-esteem is okay. My social life is good. I have the outlets that I wish were available 30 years ago. I survived the bullying. I have the scars to prove it. I’ll be okay. I guess the point of this entry is that I want to thank Lewis Skolnik, Gilbert Lowe, Dudley Dawson, Harold Wormser, Sheldon Cooper, Leonard Hofstadter, and the rest of their friends for making it okay for people like to me realize that it’s okay to be different.

Thanks guys, and thank YOU Robert. I’m sorry that life was rough for you at times. You left this place better than you found it.

Robert Carradine (3/24/1954 – 2/23/2026).

Well, I went to the doctor, I said, “I’m feeling kinda rough…”

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I try my best to be serious about my health. I make sure do have my annual physical. I don’t just do this because it’s what I should do. I do it because I’ve seen what happens when you don’t do it. Over the past few years, I have learned something important about myself. It takes a little more effort to stay healthy.

I’m (rapidly) approaching 50 years of age. I’ve experienced a slowing down of my metabolism. The amount of effort that it used to take to lose 10 pounds isn’t enough anymore. I ache in places that I didn’t use to ache.

I don’t want to be someone that relies on too many pills to regulate things in my body. I want to avoid that for as long as I can. And, so far, I’m basically okay there.

This year’s physical was just about two weeks ago. As a result of some questions that I had an how the results of my tests came back, I’ve already seen some more doctors, and I have more appointments on the way. So far, it looks like everything that’s wrong with me is a result of being overweight. I had put in a plan in place to tackle that even before I had the physical.

I’ve made some changes to my diet. I’m eating better again. I’m eating slower. I’m drinking more water. I’ve (mostly) cut out sugar. I’m paying attention to my calorie count. I’ve started exercising regularly again and I’m following a plan that I’ve come up to get myself back into shape for some 5k races later in the year. By no means is it an elaborate plan, but there’s enough of a plan.

My physical health is not the only thing that I’ve been put a concentrated effort into working on in 2026. I’ve also put a much greater focus on my mental health. I’ve found using a particular app a few times per day has kept me very grounded with my mental health. I’m trying my best to practice mindfulness and to just continue with the gratitude for all that I have.

My physical health and my mental health are not things that I take for granted. Both require consistent effort to remain in good shape. I’m doing the work.

The year is only one month old, but I think I’m on the right track. I’m genuinely optimistic about my health.

I’m not ashamed of getting help with my health. I have sleep apnea. I treat that with a CPAP machine. It’s greatly increased my sleep. I have depression and anxiety issues. I treat that with therapy. I’m overweight. I’ve begun seeing a nutritionist/dietitian for that.

Health insurance companies truly do want you to be healthy. Sure, it’s mostly due to them not wanting to pay out on services, but that’s almost not the point. If you go to your provider’s website, you’ll find so many tools and services that are designed to keep you healthy. I’ve earned cash rewards from my provider this year due completing various activities. All that you need to do is look at the website and I’m sure you’ll find rewards programs and discounts on health related things. I’m glad that I did.

I used to be angry, resentful, cynical, and bitter. I think it’s fair to say that I’m (almost) optimistic about things now. I have a lot of gratitude and I’m basically in a much better place. I included the “almost” there because it’s impossible to be completely optimistic about life when you see what’s happening in the world right now. But, I know that eventually things will turn around. It may get (a lot) worse before it gets better, but it will get better.

A joke that I’ve made about my health recently is that I’ve told people that I defer to a song by Warren Zevon (which you can listen to here and this blog’s title references) to describe my health. I don’t think that I’m quite as bad as the song describes, but I understand the sentiment of the song. Being healthy requires effort. It doesn’t just happen. I’m doing the work and I’m pretty confident that I’m going to see good results when I get my next round of tests.

In This Thrall of the New Day.

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I always write an entry at the end of each year where I look back and ask myself the same question that I asked myself one year earlier. “Am I better off than I was one year ago?” This year, the answer seems to be “yes.” Is everything in my life perfect? Not even close, but my life being better than it was one year ago is obvious, even to me.

Of course, I have “areas of opportunity” as they say in the retail/corporate world. I have things that I need to work on and improve. I have changes to make. I have decisions to make. The upcoming year could result in a lot of new things for me.

An obvious (to me) area that I need to work on is my physical self. I didn’t put enough work in during 2025 and I let myself go a bit. For years, I’ve noticed how much more difficult it gets to keep my weight down and to keep myself in good shape. I’ve also noticed how much difficult it gets when my age hits an age evenly divisible by 10. And as I approach another one of those milestones, the difficulty has increased yet again. I am completely committing myself to losing weight, getting in shape, and running some 5k races in 2026. Not only do I plan to run in those races, but I plan to have results that I’m proud of.

My belief is that if I get my physical health in order (which includes my weight and some other issues), that my mental health will improve as well. I’m taking some steps to get my head in the right space, beyond what I’ve already said. I’m going to attempt to find ways to relax, stay calm, and keep my head clear of negativity in 2026. I know that’s always easier said than done, and I also know that there’s lots of factors going on in the world that will make it more difficult for me, but I’m prepared to face the challenge.

In my 2024 year-end entry, I discussed some of the things that I was doing for my mental health. Various apps, attempting meditation, and stuff like that. I strayed from that a bit during this year, but I have some new apps and I’m again committing myself to it all once the New Year starts.

One area that I’ve constantly struggled with is my financial situation. I’ve never truly been above water here. I’ve gone under a few times, but I haven’t drown. Expenses never stop and they always seem to grow at a faster rate than my income. There will be some tweaking of my spending ways and a few plans of action in 2026 to see how much better I can end up here.

Two things that I always mention in my end of year entry are my reading goals and a specific workout goal. My reading goal is usually just to read 12 books throughout the calendar year. I finished a grand total of zero books in 2025. Ironically, I did start one about time management, but I never finished it. I will re-start and finish that book VERY EARLY in 2026 and I WILL meet my reading goal for the year. It’s something that I enjoy and it will help my mental health.

I’ve already said that I’ve been lax with the workouts. The workout goal that I always have is to successfully do a Crow (or Black Crow in the DDPY world) pose. I did not go it this year. I did it in 2024. I’m legitimately not sure if my arms are built for this pose, but I will continue to try to do it. If I keep at my workout goals, I should be able to achieve it.

Workouts aren’t the only thing that I plan on doing more of. I also plan to eat better. That doesn’t necessarily mean eating less of the things that I enjoy. It really means to eat smarter. Back in 2022, I had an app for weight loss and I really did enjoy the lessons from that app. Due to that program no longer being covered by my insurance, I no longer have access to it. But, I do remember the main lessons from it and I will be making them part of my daily life once again. This, and the workouts, should help me improve many aspects of my well-being.

I experienced a few really great moments in my social life during the year as well. A one year anniversary. Some fun events. A few brief getaways and road trips. I don’t like getting into details of my personal life on here, but I’ll say that I’m happy. I believe that things are good. And I will do the work to make them even better.

The theme of my 2024 year-end entry was really that I had a lot of gratitude and appreciation. Those two things are still very prevalent for me. Life is not easy. It doesn’t seem to get easier. The world is currently a very weird place. There’s things that I usually celebrate that I don’t know if I’ll want to celebrate them in 2026. I’ll explore that internally, and maybe here, over the course of the next few months. But, I also don’t want to focus on that right now. I just want to focus on the positive, which is that I’m grateful for what (and who) I have. I appreciate where I am.

My New Year’s Resolution is ALWAYS the same. It’s always “I want to make it better.” I want my 2026 to be better than my 2025. I’m going to make a significant effort to see that through. It may be a difficult road at times, but I’m going to keep navigating forward. I don’t know where I’ll end up on that road, but I think I’m going to be well equipped to handle the voyage.

2025 Album of the Year

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1 – Paradise Lost – Ascension
2 – Spritworld – Helldorado
3 – Ghost – Skeletá
4 – The Yagas – Midnight Minuet
5 – Cold Slither – Cold Slither
6 – Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks – Sad Witch Cult
7 – Lord of the Lost – OPVS NOIR
8 – AVTT/PTTN – AVTT/PTTN
9 –  Lacuna Coil – Sleepless Empire
10 -Biohazard – Divided We Fall

When I ranked Paradise Lost’s 2020 album, Obsidian, as my Album of the Year, I wrote “from the moment that I heard the first notes of the first song on Paradise Lost’s Obsidian, I knew it was a special album.” I can say the same thing about Ascension. This the third time that I’ve given the Album of the Year to Paradise Lost, and it’s their third consecutive album to get it.

Ascension starts off with “Serpent on the Cross” which is such a great song to open an album with. I don’t think it would work in any other spot on the album. The album continues with “Tyrants Serenade” which would be considered my favorite song on the album if it wasn’t for “Lay a Wreath Upon the World.” How a band’s 17th album can be this good, and how they can be so consistent is amazing to me. And just because Paradise Lost is one of my favorite bands doesn’t automatically get them the top spot, or one near the top, as you’ll see in later comments.

Other songs that I really liked from Ascension include “Salvation,” “Silence Like the Grave,” and “Savage Days.”

Sometimes, the YouTube algorithm does good things. Since I listen to a few bands that are distributed through Century Media Records, YouTube suggested another to me, SpiritWorld. I had never heard of them at all before that suggestion. Their musical style is described as “Death Western.” Upon listening to their music, I would say that it’s an accurate description. The first song that I heard from them is “Abilene Grime.” It starts off with a hard rock country style, which I like, and then it got heavier. I was very interested. I heard some more songs from their 2024 album Helldorado and I kept listening. They’ve climbed up the ranks of the list of bands that I would like to see live and I look forward to hearing more new stuff from them. I also look forward to going backwards in their catalog and listening to their previous releases.

In addition to “Abilene Grime,” check out “Wester Stars & the Apocalypse,” ANNIHILSM,” and especially “Waiting on the Reaper.”

I’ve noticed that Ghost’s sound seems to evolve slightly each time that they get a new singer. I know that they don’t actually get new singers, but if you know Ghost, you know what I mean. Their 2018 album, Prequelle, was my Album of the Year. Their next album, Imperra, did not make my Top 10. It had the same character doing vocals and while it has some good songs, it just didn’t move me much. Skeletá, however, had a new character singing and did get me. The first three singles that they released “Satanized,” “Lachryma,” and “Peacefield” hooked me. Especially “Peacefield.” I think that song could be a 1970s prog song or even on a 1980s “New Wave” mix. It’s that good of a song.

If you like Ghost, check out the songs that I’ve mentioned and also “Marks of the Evil One” and “Cenotaph.”

The Fourth Best Album of 2025 is Midnight Minuet by The Yagas. This band is fronted by Academy Award Nominated actress, Vera Farmiga. The song that was recommended to me was “She’s Walking Down.” And after hearing it, I listened to it again and again. And just like with SpiritWorld, I wanted to hear more. As they released more singles from the album, I got more excited about hearing the whole thing. It did not disappoint me at all.

“The Crying Room” is the first song on the album and a must-listen. I also recommend “Life of a Widow” and “Anhedonia.”

If I told you that the Fifth Best Album of 2025 was 40 years in the making, would you believe me? Would the claim be less believable if I told you that the album and the entire band is based off of a 1985 GI Joe episode? The crazy thing, it’s true. All of it. In that episode of GI Joe, Cobra was broke and came up with a new scheme to take over the world and make money. They had Zartan and the Dreadnoks form a heavy metal band called Cold Slither in hopes of having a number one hit that they would put subliminal messaging in to control the masses. For the 40th anniversary of the episode, Hasbro and Reigning Phoenix Music put together a band, they re-did the Cold Slither theme song, recorded other songs, and put out an album. They first did a concert in conjunction with the San Diego Comic Con in the summer and in October, they did a show in NYC for the NYC Comic Con. I was at the NYC show and I had a blast. I’m also fairly certain that I was indoctrinated into Cobra that night.

If you know the cartoon episode, do yourself a favor and check out the title track “Cold Slither. You will not be disappointed. But also check out songs such as “Thunder Machine,” “Knock ‘Em Dead,” and “These Fluffies are Fatal.” Also remember that Cobra is strong.

This is the third year in a row that Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks have an album in my Top 10 list. Their 2023 album, Longing For Oblivion, was ranked 6th and their 2024 album, Afraid, was ranked at number 2. Being ranked again at number 6 does not mean that their latest release, Sad Witch Cult, is of any less quality than last year’s album. In fact, I think it’s just as good, if not better. For this record, Lonesome Wyatt had a new vocalist, known as the Sad Witch. That change was a pleasant surprise. The album had the sound that I like from the group, but the new vocalist added a little something extra.

I recommend the songs “Tired of Being a Good Girl,” “Satan Kissed Me,” “House of Cats,” and “Calliope Moon.”

Lord of the Lost released two albums in 2025, OPVS NOIR Vol. 1 and OPVS NOIR Vol. 2. For the sake of simplicity, I’m counting it as one release here and ranking it at the 7th Best Album of 2025. I’m standing by this decision, even with OPVS NOIR Vol. 3 scheduled for release in early 2026. I’ve been listening to Lord of the Lost for a few years. They’ve got a great sound and they’re a lot of fun to see live. They also put out albums pretty quickly and I’m impressed by how they don’t continue to keep my attention.

“I Will Die In It,” “The Things We Do For Love,” and “Light Can Only Shine in the Darknesss” are my favorite songs from Vol 1, while “One of Us Will Be Next,” and “Would You Walk With Me Through Hell?” stand out from Vol. 2.

I knew of the Avett Brothers, but not really their sound. I know Mike Patton very well, but I never know what to expect when he’s on album. Their group (and album) name is simply AVTT/PTTN and what we got with their collaboration is a blend of Folk Rock, Americana, Alternative Rock, and Experimental Rock. I would not be surprised if this album was nominated for Grammy Awards.

“Eternal Love” was the first single that they released. In addition to that songs, I liked “Dark Night of My Soul” and “The Things I Do” a lot.

Lacuna Coil’s Sleepless Empire is the 9th Best Album of the Year and could have easily been ranked higher if this year wasn’t so stacked. They had slowly been releasing tracks from the record for a while before the entire thing was released. Songs such as “In the Meantime” and “Hosting the Shadow” (featuring Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe) got my attention very early, but it was “I Wish You Were Dead” that totally hooked me on this album. This is Lacuna Coil’s 10th studio album, and I’m glad to see (like Paradise Lost), they’re still doing the work.

The 10th Best Album of 2025 is Divided We Fall from the reunited Biohazard. When I first heard some of the new songs, they felt comfortable. It was definitely Biohazard. I saw them live in November and their singer/bass player Evan Seinfeld said that with they “weren’t looking to reinvent the wheel” with this album. They were looking to put out a Biohazard album, and that’s what they did.

“Forsaken” and “S.I.T.F.O.A.” are songs that stood out to me.

There were a lot of good albums in 2025. Some others could easily have been listed in my Top 10. Here is a listing of other albums that came out during the year (in alphabetical order by artist):

Alice Cooper – The Revenge of Alice Cooper – This was the first album with the original Alice Cooper band in 50 years. It’s a good rock album.
Amorphis – Borderland – This album would definitely have been in my Top 10 list if the list wasn’t so stacked with great albums
Arch Enemy – Blood Dynasty – It’s a good Arch Enemy album, not a great one.
A Bad Think – Watch Your Mind – I ranked one of his previous albums high. This one didn’t do much for me.
The Black Keys – No Rain, No Flowers – See Amorphis.
Florence & the Machine – Everybody Scream – See The Black Keys.
Garbage – Let All That We Imagine Be the Light – This album may be their weakest one. Nothing on it made me want to hear more. Maybe that’ll change over time.
Halo Effect – March of the Unheard – This band, made of up ex-In Flames members, made an album that sounded too much like the In Flames that I wish was unheard.
Heaven Shall Burn – Heimat – See Garbage.
Katatonia – Nightmares as Extensions of the Waking State – Katatonia had my Album of the Year in 2009, 2012, and 2023. They’ve never put out an album that I didn’t like, until now. As much as I love the band, I found this album to just be boring. I’m hoping it’s just a blip and not a sign of things to come from them.
Pothamus – Abur – I became aware of Pothamus through professional wrestler Aleister (Malakai) Black. I’ve liked what I heard from them. This is a good album that I’m likely to listen to a lot, while it’s in the background.
The Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band – Honeysuckle – A very good blues album that I expect will be played from time to time.
Sarcator – Swarming Angels & Flies – This was another YouTube suggestion. The first song that I heard from them was the best of it.
Scour – Gold – I had no idea that Phil Anselmo fronted a Death Metal band. But he does, and they’re pretty good.
Sleep Token – Even in Arcadia – See Florence & the Machine.
Steven Wilson – The Overview – Nope.
Whitechapel – Hymns in Dissonance – See Heaven Shall Burn.

I don’t know much about albums that are coming out in 2026, other than the aforementioned Lord of the Lost album, and new ones from Clutch, Muse, and Robbie Williams. I’m hoping to hear good things from all of acts that I’ve mentioned and I also hope to find a lot of new acts, like I did this year.

A note about eligibility for my 2025 Album of the Year:
– the album must have had a United States release date in 2025.
– the album must be new material (for the band or artist).
– live albums are only eligible if they’re new material.

Spray-on Clothes and Diamond Jaws. Wrinkles Smoothed by Nanoclaws.

Posted by MaskedSanity on

I was on the treadmill the other day, which, if you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you’ll know is a victory in itself. The struggle for consistency is a battle I fight daily, and some days, the snooze button wins. On this particular day, however, I had the right music on—some mid-90s alternative rock—and I was feeling pretty good, right up until the point where my knee started to remind me, quite forcefully, that I’m no longer a spry kid running in the park.

It’s always something, isn’t it? Just as one thing starts to click into place—the new running shoes are finally broken in, I’ve managed three solid days of mindful eating, I even finished that time management book I started months ago (the irony is not lost on me)—something else has to pop up to test my commitment. It’s my own personal, real-life quest for balance, and the world seems determined to keep the scales tipped wildly in all the wrong directions.

I’ve written about this before, about how for every personal win, there’s a setback waiting in the wings. It’s like a pro-wrestling script where the face (me, trying to be healthy) finally gets some momentum, only for the heel (Anxiety, physical pain, general malaise) to hit a cheap shot with a folding chair. Wham! Momentum instantly gone.

This time, it’s a new orthotic insert causing a different kind of foot pain, which then puts more strain on the knee that was already an “area of opportunity.” I laughed at the corporate jargon term when I was in retail, but now I see my life is just a series of those areas. Weight loss, time management, sleep quality—all opportunities for improvement.

The important thing, I’m trying to tell myself, is to not let the setback become the story. The pain is real, and it needs attention, but that doesn’t mean I have to stop moving. Maybe the new “remix” of my resolution is to swap the high-impact treadmill for some good, low-impact DDP Yoga for a few weeks. That’s the beauty of having so many tools at my disposal, I just have to remember to use them and not let the inertia of a temporary issue turn into a permanent block.

Because as I’ve learned from watching my favorite action heroes and villains, a good plan can always be adapted. Cobra Commander had a million schemes, and G.I. Joe always had to adjust on the fly. And hey, even if I have to scale back today’s workout, the simple fact that I put my thoughts into words here is a victory, right?

I’m working on seeing the opportunity, not the failure. I’m working on me.

Everything above here in this entry was written by AI. I asked Google Gemini to write a blog entry that sounds like me. It did. The amount of specific things that are mentioned is a bit marvelous and frightening at the same time. The Internet is a wonderful tool. AI is a wonderful tool. Sometimes I wonder if our technology is getting too smart for our own good.

I will be back in December with my 2025 Album of the Year blog entry and my usual year-end entry. And yes, I will have personally written them.

Don’t Tell Us What’s Right, Don’t Tell Us What’s Wrong.

Posted by MaskedSanity on

Like many people of my age, I spent many days after school watching G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero on TV. Along with Transformers, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Voltron, and Robotech, it was of my favorite cartoons. I always knew the cartoon was a little bit cheesy and the animation was cheap, but none of that mattered. I was fully entertained for the 30 minutes that I spent watching it.

There were a few episodes that stood out to me as favorites or very memorable. I even learned what deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) is from the 1986 mini-series in which Doctor Mindbender created a super human to lead Cobra by extracting DNA from the unearthed remains of some of the greatest generals and conquerors of all time as well as other notable historic figures. I was in 4th grade when I saw that and I very clearly remember being excited and proud that I knew the answer to “Does anyone know what DNA stands for?” when it was asked in my high school biology class. I knew the answer, and remember kids, knowing is half the battle.

But, when it comes down to just one episode that I say was my definite favorite, the one that I remember the most, it would be the one that aired on Tuesday, December 2, 1985. No, I didn’t know that date from memory, I went to IMDB.com to find it. The episode was called “Cold Slither” and in the episode Cobra Commander is informed that his organization is broke and he needs a quick scheme to make money. He comes up with the idea go have a gang that he often works with, Zartan and his Dreadnoks become a rock band to they can control the masses with subliminal messages, make money, and take over the world. It seems like a good scheme, right?

The band that they create is called Cold Slither and their eponymous song was a big hit, until GI Joe put a stop to all of, as they do.

I’m not going to spend this entire entry going over the plot of that episode, although, I could. But, if you want to see it, you can just click the link right after this sentence and enjoy its greatness for yourself.
https://youtu.be/NGBpP2B83E8?si=X2N_YNay_UufKCsS

As I said, this episode was the most memorable of the series for me. For 40 years, the “Cold Slither” song was in my head. Occasionally, I would go back and watch it for fun. Last year, I even bought a Cold Slither t-shirt from 80stees.com, which does not sponsor me, but I’m plugging them anyway. So, as you can tell, I am a fan of that episode.

Earlier this year, I saw a post that there would be a San Diego Comic-Con exclusive 40th anniversary collection of Cold Slither action figures, featuring Zartan and the Dreadnocks in their Cold Slither attire. I thought that was pretty cool, and was glad to see this great episode getting some attention.

Just about two months ago, YouTube suggested a video to me, it was called “Cold Slither – Official Lyric Video, The Anthem That Shook the World.” Naturally, I clicked the link (and you can too, right here) and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, it was a new recording of the classic Cold Slither theme song. I immediately went to the Google and discovered that there was a real band going around as Cold Slither now and not just that, they had played a show in conjunction with the San Diego Comic-Con, and were going to be playing a show when the New York Comic-Con would be happening just about on month later. Being that I live near New York City, I had to know more.

After confirming the date of the concert, I informed my girlfriend about the show and how much I wanted to go. She agreed to go with me, so I got the tickets. I listened to their full-length album a few times before going to the show. Yes. They have a full-length album, and it’s good. Is it good enough to appear in my Top 10 Albums of the Year blog that will be posted in late December? You’ll just have to wait to find out.

The show itself was loads of fun. They start off with the GI Joe cartoon intro, and then Cobra Commander appeared on a screen to discuss how he didn’t like being in New York, due to that incident on the Statue of Liberty in 1987 (see the opening of the 1987 GI Joe movie for that reference). From there, Cold Slither took the stage and played all of the songs from their album. The final song of their set was “Cold Slither.” The song from the episode. I sang along. Every word. I had a huge smile on my face, and I felt emotional. I’ll explain more about that in a minute.

The encore for the band was them coming back and singing “Cold Slither” again, but this time with more audience participation. At their San Diego show, the encore included an appearance by Jem (yes, the actual singer from the 1980s Jem cartoon) to sing the Jem theme. We didn’t get that, unfortunately. That would have been truly outrageous. Yeah, I said it.

When the show was over, the band did a meet and greet downstairs. They were all in character. Ripper handed out donuts while talking about how he wanted some grape soda, while Torch and Buzzer talked about how much they wanted some as well. As someone who knew the characters, I was loving every second of this. I got to speak to Zartan, the singer for a moment. I said “this may sound weird, or it may make a lot of sense, but I can’t thank you enough for tonight. I’ve been singing that song for 40 years and to be able to do it tonight was so much fun. Thank you. As you can probably tell, I’m a fan.” Zartan rolled down his arm band a bit to show me a GI Joe themed tattoo and he said “So am I. Thank you.”

While, on the surface, my conversation with Zartan was nice and it was just two people showing their appreciation for the legacy of the cartoon and the franchise, as a whole, it was a lot deeper than that. Being that I liked the band so much, I wanted to know more about the individual members and the bands that they’re in. Zartan is portrayed by Gus Rios. He’s played drums in bands such as Malevolent Creation, Gruesome, and Left to Die. That’s a good resume, but that it isn’t what made an impact on me. It was his story about depression, his attempt on his own life, and how as a child, his toys such as GI Joe and the Transformers were his friends.

I found that to be very powerful. I often locked myself away in my basement and played with the GI Joe and Transformers toys that I had. I would sometimes mix in the Star Wars toys too in a massive intergalactic war, but I digress. I don’t know if playing with the toys and feeling connections to the characters had as deep of an impact on me as it did with Gus Rios, but I could relate to his story. I’m glad that he was able to share it. Not just because it’s a good story, but because he’s with us and he got to enjoy being a part of the lore that he enjoyed so much as a kid.

You never know what someone is going through. You never know how much something as simple as attending a concert, even one that is featuring a band based on one episode of a children’s cartoon from 40 years ago, can mean to someone. I had a great time at that show. It was a very memorable experience. By no means did the show attract a large crowd, but it attracted people who were very passionate about what they were about to see (and some significant others that were with them to support them). And the people that bought the tickets enjoyed 60ish minutes of nostalgia in the form of heavy metal music, and some videos in which I’m pretty sure Cobra Commander indoctrinated all of us into his “ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.”

Was this a once-in-a-lifetime experience for me? It very well could have been. Yes, it meant that much to me, and others. The GI Joe and Transformers universe mean that much to me. Their recent co-existence in the new Energon Universe comic books is what brought me back to the world of comics. So, as I said those 60ish minutes were magical. And for the time that I was there, I felt like I was (said in Destro’s voice from the “Revenge of Cobra” mini-series) “on the roof of the world.”