Category Archives: Gratitude

Don’t Waste Your Time Or Time Will Waste You.

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This entry is about time. What does that mean? Maybe you should take the time to find out.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines “time” as “A finite extent or stretch of continued existence, as the interval separating two successive events or actions, or the period during which an action, condition, or state continues.” Based on that definition, we’re all clear on what it is, right? Okay. So, I don’t need to continue with this entry, do I?

I’ve been thinking a lot about time. How much do I spend? How much do I waste? Do I have enough? I think the same questions about money, but unlike money, once time is spent, it’s gone. It cannot be replenished. The thing about time is once it’s gone, it’s gone. Can we add to it? How? I can make more money, can I make time? Much like money, time is a commodity. But, that’s really all that they have in common. How we spend our time is very important. We need to make the most of it, but how? That’s the big question, isn’t it?

It may be redundant to say that time can seem like an eternity. I’m proud of that last sentence, but I digress. While it may seem like an eternity at times, it also goes by so quickly. And it seems to speed up as we get older. And let’s not forget that 2020-2022 Pandemic times when every day seemed to blend together.

Does time exist? Much like everything else that governs our lives, time is a man made concept. 60 seconds in a minute. 60 minutes in an hour. 24 hours in a day. Between 28 and 31 days in a month. 12 months in a year. Some years have 365 days, some have 366. For a certain period of time during the year, we set our clocks back to extend our availability to daylight. If I fly from my most local airport on the East Coast of the United States to an airport on the West Coast, I will have traveled through three different time zones. How is any of this possible? Am I a Time Lord? No, it’s just because time is made up.

When I was a kid, I remember a character on a local radio show (which I’ve later learned was a syndicated character sold to various radio stations, but I digress… again) who would state “Time is a waste of time. Time is the enemy!” Is time a waste of time? What constitutes wasting time? If I sit around and relax or rest, am I not using the most of my time? Is it wrong to see that as saving up energy for a later time?

I’ve taken too much time (which is open to interpretation) reading a book about time management. I think that I’ve learned some valuable lessons from that book. Although, it could be argued that by taking so long to read it, I haven’t learned anything, but once again, I digress. We put such value on our personal time, and we should. But, we’re more likely to cut our personal time than our work time. We’re so afraid to not finish every bit of work that we have to get done that we don’t maximize our down time. And way too often, we use our down time, our relaxation time, just to prepare to spend more time doing non-leisure things.

Earlier, I asked how do we make the most of our time? What does that mean to you? It means something different to everyone. On many days, I’ll feel like I’ve made the most of my time by getting a lot accomplished, be it work or leisure. Yes, being completely caught up on Days of Our Lives or reading comic books counts as getting stuff accomplished. And of course, the logo of Days of Our Lives is an hour glass, which is used to measure time. So, of course it ties in here. Yes, you guessed it, another digression.

We know that we cannot replenish time. We’re always running out of time. Is that why we rush through things? Is that why we don’t “take our time?” What does it mean to waste time? How can we make up time? How much time have I spent thinking about this? How much time has it been since I started writing this entry? How much time was spent being distracted by my parrots calling for me or my need to get laundry done? Why does laundry always take up so much time? How does anything take “too much time” when time isn’t a real thing, but only a concept?

I think we’ve been wondering about things like this since the beginning of time. But, when did time begin? How did time begin? Does it really end? Is there really such a thing as the beginning of time or the end of time?

If we can’t go backwards in time, once the past has passed, why does it linger?

My subscription to Time recently lapsed. That’s the magazine, not the concept of time.

How much time do any of us spend just thinking about time? How much time does it take to get something done? How much time have we spent doing this or doing that? How long will it take to cook dinner? How much time will I save if I use the microwave? What if we don’t have enough time to cook something? We can just order something and have it delivered. And you know what? It’ll take about the same amount of time that it would have for you to cook something.

I’ve put a lot of time and thought into this entry. My guess is that you’ll save time by skimming through it or not reading it at all. But, I do appreciate the time that you’ve spent even thinking about reading this. I hope you appreciate the time that I put into writing it. Until next time.

We Will Overcome This System.

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I have no tolerance for bullies. I have no tolerance for people in power enacting policies that belittle people. I have no tolerance for hatred. I have no tolerance for bigotry. I have no tolerance for intolerance.

I’ve been the victim of bullies. I vividly remember the fear that I often had while walking the halls of my high school. I vividly remember the dread that I often felt while walking home from high school. I didn’t fit in. I had long hair. I read comic books. I wasn’t one of the cool kids. And others made it a point to mock me for my interests. Sometimes, they would even physically hurt me. I survived. I’m in a very good place right now. But, I’m very scared about the rise of bullies.

The once and current President of the United States is a bully. He’s a racist. He’s a bigot. He does not care who he hurts as long as he helps himself in the process. He has zero compassion for minorities of any kind. Women, people of color, LGBTQ people, and basically any religion that isn’t a form of Christianity is likely to be targeted by him. And his barrage of public bullying has enabled and emboldened a rise of bullying, hate crimes, and overall discrimination.

Many people use the cliche statement, “I have many (fill in minority category here) friends.” Then they make decisions that hurt those alleged friends. Claiming to have black friends doesn’t give you the right to make decisions that hurt them. Claiming to have LGBTQ friends doesn’t give you the right to deprive them. And yet, that’s what many people do. It happens way too often.

The United States of America has come a long way. If you wanted to argue that the USA has not made a lot of progress with equality, I wouldn’t argue with you. Recent events have set progress back, possibly for decades. Yes, the country is inherently filled with systemic racism. Yes, a lot of policies benefit straight white men over anyone else. But, progress towards equality was being made. As slow as it may have been moving, that progress was happening. As of late, I don’t feel like we’re moving forward at all.

If we must use political labels, I am a Progressive. I want progress. I want every single person, regardless of who they are, to be treated equally. I want them to be able to paid fairly. I want them to have access to affordable health care. I want them to be able to get legally married. I want people to be able to fulfil Thomas Jefferson’s concept of them having unalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

The ability to pursue life, liberty, and happiness is not easy for some people. For many, it’s an outright painful struggle.

I like reading about history and politics. I know how got to where we are today. I’m not going to get into that particular topic in this entry. Discussing it would turn this into a novel. I like to understand thing. I’m also okay with not understanding some things. There’s a lot of things in the universe that I don’t know the answers to. Not understanding something doesn’t usually fundamentally upset me. However, for the life of me, I cannot understand why people need to be cruel. I cannot understand why people need to belittle differences. I cannot understand why some people think it’s acceptable to take away rights from innocent human beings. And not only don’t I understand any of that, it really does upset me.

I don’t usually end my entries like this, but I want to thank you for reading this one. Please do something to make a positive difference in someone’s life today. The world needs it.

The Monolith of the New Day.

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I always write an entry at the end of each year where I look back and ask myself the same question that I asked myself one year earlier. “Am I better off than I was one year ago?” This year, it isn’t a question. Is everything in my life perfect? Not even close, but my life being better than it was one year ago is obvious, even to me.

I’ve taken my health seriously for a while. That really only meant that I’ve regularly had my annual physical for almost 15 years. I go to my dentist and eye doctor regularly. It wasn’t until 2024 when I really started to dig deeper.

I took a simple step by seeing a foot specialist. This was to address the pain in my left foot, particularly in my big toe. I even brought an extra left shoe. to the appointment to show the doctor how the soles get worn out on my left shoes. He took one look and knew exactly what my problem was. I have flat feet and collapses arches. I was given custom orthotics for my feet and it’s helped A LOT.

Another thing I did was going to a sleep specialist. From the study that they did, it was determined that I have sleep apnea and I had averaged 24.5 episodes per hour. To be clear, that meant in that study, I had stopped breathing 24.5 times on average, per hour, while sleeping. That sounds scary, right? I now use CPAP machine when I sleep and my episodes per hour have dropped to an average of 1.5. In so many of my entries here I’ve talked about my lack of energy. The sleep apnea was a BIG reason for my lack of energy. I was not getting a good night’s sleep, no matter how many hours I was in bed.

Like past years, I competed in a few 5k races. My results weren’t at the levels when I was at my best. But what is my best now? Is just finishing my best? Are my personal records out of reach? I don’t think there’s any shame in not being incapable of running as well as I did. It’s natural that my abilities have changed since I was in my late 30s. I’m now in my late 40s and the “Big Five O” is approaching somewhat quickly. However, I’m determined to compete in more races in 2025 than I did in 2024. I also aim to achieve better results than I did in 2024. How am I going to do this?

I am committing myself to my physical health in 2025. That means that I WILL drop the extra weight that I put on during the year. Unfortunately, that weight is what I had hoped to lose in 2024 and then-some. I’m going to make some healthier choices with food and drink. I’m going to re-commit myself to exercise via apps that I have, YouTube pages, and the gym. I’m going to do the work. The work is SO important.

It isn’t just my physical health that I’m committing to, it’s my mental health. Make no mistake, I’ve taken my mental health very seriously over the past few years. I’m VERY PROUD of the progress and decisions that I made about my mental health in 2024.

I’ve started using apps to check in every day about my mental health. I’ve begun attempting meditation. I say attempting, because I’m not good at it… yet. I’ve starting using card with affirmations to remind me of how good things are. Which leads me to the next thing that I want to discuss.

There’s also things I did not do this year. I felt it would be better for me to NOT participate in them. In the past, I would have said that quitting was just easier for me. Not partaking seemed more convenient. But I don’t see it that way now. I see it was me protecting myself from uncomfortable, awkward, and (most importantly) unhealthy situations.

As someone who has often had problems being optimistic about basically anything, I was always focused on what I don’t have. That mindset has changed a bit for me and now I really do focus on what I have. And I don’t just focus on that specific things, I’ve focused on the gratitude that I have for what I’ve been able to achieve and/or been allowed to achieve.

I was recently at an event. I discussed a specific moment of gratitude with someone very important to me. During that discussion, she pointed out something significant. I was attending that event with two people. These two individuals were close to death at various points over the past few years. She was right. It took my gratitude for all of it to a new level. I appreciate that amount of perspective. I’m glad that I have it. And the amount of gratitude that I have for her (on various levels) is huge.

In addition to things that I’ve already discussed, if there’s any “area of opportunity” in my life that I need to work on, it’s my finances. Like, the other things that I’ve discussed, I think that I have the tools at my disposal to make the necessary changes to get things back under control and to make a difference. Steps have already been taken to make it happen. I just need to do the work. And, as we know, the work is SO important.

Two things that I always mention in my end of year entry are my reading goals and a specific workout goal. I did not come close to my reading goal. I always want to read at least 12 books per year. I read 6. But, I read a few comic books too. Does that count?
The specific workout goal is my ability to do a Black Crow pose in the DDP Yoga workouts. According to what I’ve written, I managed to get one done in 2021. Still, I do know that I did it at least once in 2024, just not well. My new goal there is to be able to get it done and hold it for more than a second or two.

For some reason, I opened my 2014 end of year entry today and read it. I guess it didn’t hurt to see how I was feeling 10 years ago. My immediate thought was “wow, I haven’t changed much.” I did not like that perspective on it. I think I have. I think I’m in a much better place than I’ve been in a very long time, if not ever. I know that things aren’t perfect, but I also know that I have the tools at my disposal to make things better. I may not have all of the skills to get it all done on my own, but I don’t need to. I’m content. I’m not complacent. I’m grateful.

In my entry from this past June, I quoted a bunch of people. One was Philip Jack Brooks. His philosophy on life and when asked how he’s doing, he’ll reply “I woke up today.” He explained how that’s a good thing. He seems to have gratitude as well. I also talked about Warren Zevon and his “Enjoy Every Sandwich” outlook to life. I’ve used that one for a while. But, it seems to me that the various pieces of the happiness/gratitude puzzle are coming together for me better than they have before. Things are making sense.

My New Year’s Resolution is ALWAYS the same. It’s always “I want to make it better.” I want my 2025 to be better than my 2024. I’m going to make a significant effort to see that through. It may be a difficult road at times, but I’m going to keep navigating forward. I don’t know where I’ll end up on that road. If I keep going on the path that I’m on, I believe that when I start writing my 2025 year-end entry, I will say, “I woke up today, I enjoyed every sandwich, and I appreciated every moment with every person.” If I can say that, the year will have been pretty good. And, I’ll be very grateful for that.

Covenants Were Sealed and Set.

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Based on what I want to say in this entry, I think this one may end up being a direct continuation of last month’s. But, then again, every entry is basically a continuation of my previous one. That’s how this works. I’m obviously off to a good start. I’ve said nothing significant yet and I’m already leading into the phrase “But, I digress.”

But, I digress…

The theme of my last entry seemed to be my gratitude for things in life. I’m still feeling that gratitude. Thanksgiving was yesterday, so I’m going to change it up. Let me say how thankful I am. And, I really am. I’m very much aware of how much better things in my life are than they have been. By no means are things perfect, but (in many ways) they’re better than ever.

I’m thankful that I have the opportunity to make things right in some areas of my life where I’ve struggled. I’m thankful that I’m in a much better position than before to make the effort to make those things right. I’m thankful for the people and things that have helped me get to that position.

One of the things that I’m most thankful for is the perspective that I have. I believe that it’s important to understand perspective. It’s important to know that in the dark times, things can get better. It’s important to appreciate what you have. I could easily focus on the things that I don’t have instead of what I do have. What will that get me? Jealousy, angry, resentment, bitterness? I have had all of those. I no longer have use for them.

I’m thankful for simple pleasures. Over the past year, I’ve taken up reading comic books again. But this time, I’m reading them on my tablet instead of the physical books. I get the same enjoyment out of reading them that way as I do from reading the real things. It makes no difference. I think technology is great. It is amazing that I can even get these books and so many older ones on a tablet. Yes, the Internet amazes me. It still does.

Getting serious for a moment, I’m so very thankful for some particular people in my life. Earlier, when I mentioned things that I don’t have, I was thinking about this particular topic. There are some people that I had in my life, then I didn’t, and I do again. For various reasons, I won’t get into specifics of anything here. The situation went from not having them, to possibly not having the option to have them in my life again. Now, I have them back and (in my opinion) in a stronger capacity than before. I’m extremely thankful for that.

I’m thankful that I have the chance to write this entry. I’m thankful that people may read it. I’ve said “I’m in a good place” a few times lately. I’m still there. I don’t want to leave. Although, I do believe that my Good Place is flexible. In the sense that it could get better. Look at me, sounding optimistic and hopeful. Who knew how much perspective, gratitude, and thankfulness could do for someone?

In Times of Surrender, I am Shedding My Scars.

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There was a time in my life when I was very angry, almost all of the time. Let’s just call it “My Twenties and Early Thirties.” I have no idea why I was angry. I just was. I said that the anger kept me going. It was the energy for me. But was it really?

Anger is exhausting. It’s heavy. It can be all consuming at times. And what does it do for you? Where does it get you? For the most part, I think it’s pointless to feel that way so often.

I understand that not every situation in life will work out as you hoped. People, places, and things can upset someone to the point of anger. But, it’s best to let it go.

There was a time, not too long ago, when I wouldn’t believe that I was saying these things. I’m not talking about the anger part, I’m talking about the letting it go part. I would like to think that I’ve grown up a little bit, maybe matured slightly. I know my audience here is very limited, so please don’t go around telling anyone that I’m looking at things from a mature perspective. I wouldn’t want my image to be ruined. Obviously, I’m kidding about that. I certainly don’t want to be thought of as the angry person that I was.

I’ve tried different techniques to calm myself recently. I’ve even attempted meditation, but I’m really not good at it. I am not (yet) capable of clearing my mind enough to get the best results from it.

But, as far as meditation goes, I know that a lot of breathing goes into that. And I posted an entry a little while ago about breathing. It’s such an incredible tool. Yes, it’s the literal foundation of our lives. If we don’t breathe, we don’t live. Controlling the breath is vital. Using it to calm down is essential. I’m proud of my efforts in this area.

I may have been obviously angry or depressed 20 years ago. I hope that now, I am seen as grateful. I really do have so much gratitude right now. I could easily focus on how little I’ve achieved by the standards of society. It could to appear to some that I’m very behind the curve. Still, lately I’ve really been focusing on how much I DO have. I’m grateful for the opportunities presented to me.

I’m grateful that I have the chance to right some wrongs. I’m grateful that I have the tools to make the necessary improvements in some areas of my life. I just need to apply myself more.

I’m grateful for the simple things that bring me joy.

I’m grateful that I get to start fresh on my diet and exercise plan tomorrow, since it’s a new month.

I’m grateful that anyone bothers to read this.

I’m grateful that I’m in a good place right. I hope to stay here for a while.