I was on the treadmill the other day, which, if you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you’ll know is a victory in itself. The struggle for consistency is a battle I fight daily, and some days, the snooze button wins. On this particular day, however, I had the right music on—some mid-90s alternative rock—and I was feeling pretty good, right up until the point where my knee started to remind me, quite forcefully, that I’m no longer a spry kid running in the park.
It’s always something, isn’t it? Just as one thing starts to click into place—the new running shoes are finally broken in, I’ve managed three solid days of mindful eating, I even finished that time management book I started months ago (the irony is not lost on me)—something else has to pop up to test my commitment. It’s my own personal, real-life quest for balance, and the world seems determined to keep the scales tipped wildly in all the wrong directions.
I’ve written about this before, about how for every personal win, there’s a setback waiting in the wings. It’s like a pro-wrestling script where the face (me, trying to be healthy) finally gets some momentum, only for the heel (Anxiety, physical pain, general malaise) to hit a cheap shot with a folding chair. Wham! Momentum instantly gone.
This time, it’s a new orthotic insert causing a different kind of foot pain, which then puts more strain on the knee that was already an “area of opportunity.” I laughed at the corporate jargon term when I was in retail, but now I see my life is just a series of those areas. Weight loss, time management, sleep quality—all opportunities for improvement.
The important thing, I’m trying to tell myself, is to not let the setback become the story. The pain is real, and it needs attention, but that doesn’t mean I have to stop moving. Maybe the new “remix” of my resolution is to swap the high-impact treadmill for some good, low-impact DDP Yoga for a few weeks. That’s the beauty of having so many tools at my disposal, I just have to remember to use them and not let the inertia of a temporary issue turn into a permanent block.
Because as I’ve learned from watching my favorite action heroes and villains, a good plan can always be adapted. Cobra Commander had a million schemes, and G.I. Joe always had to adjust on the fly. And hey, even if I have to scale back today’s workout, the simple fact that I put my thoughts into words here is a victory, right?
I’m working on seeing the opportunity, not the failure. I’m working on me.
Everything above here in this entry was written by AI. I asked Google Gemini to write a blog entry that sounds like me. It did. The amount of specific things that are mentioned is a bit marvelous and frightening at the same time. The Internet is a wonderful tool. AI is a wonderful tool. Sometimes I wonder if our technology is getting too smart for our own good.
I will be back in December with my 2025 Album of the Year blog entry and my usual year-end entry. And yes, I will have personally written them.
Like many people of my age, I spent many days after school watching G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero on TV. Along with Transformers, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Voltron, and Robotech, it was of my favorite cartoons. I always knew the cartoon was a little bit cheesy and the animation was cheap, but none of that mattered. I was fully entertained for the 30 minutes that I spent watching it.
There were a few episodes that stood out to me as favorites or very memorable. I even learned what deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) is from the 1986 mini-series in which Doctor Mindbender created a super human to lead Cobra by extracting DNA from the unearthed remains of some of the greatest generals and conquerors of all time as well as other notable historic figures. I was in 4th grade when I saw that and I very clearly remember being excited and proud that I knew the answer to “Does anyone know what DNA stands for?” when it was asked in my high school biology class. I knew the answer, and remember kids, knowing is half the battle.
But, when it comes down to just one episode that I say was my definite favorite, the one that I remember the most, it would be the one that aired on Tuesday, December 2, 1985. No, I didn’t know that date from memory, I went to IMDB.com to find it. The episode was called “Cold Slither” and in the episode Cobra Commander is informed that his organization is broke and he needs a quick scheme to make money. He comes up with the idea go have a gang that he often works with, Zartan and his Dreadnoks become a rock band to they can control the masses with subliminal messages, make money, and take over the world. It seems like a good scheme, right?
The band that they create is called Cold Slither and their eponymous song was a big hit, until GI Joe put a stop to all of, as they do.
I’m not going to spend this entire entry going over the plot of that episode, although, I could. But, if you want to see it, you can just click the link right after this sentence and enjoy its greatness for yourself. https://youtu.be/NGBpP2B83E8?si=X2N_YNay_UufKCsS
As I said, this episode was the most memorable of the series for me. For 40 years, the “Cold Slither” song was in my head. Occasionally, I would go back and watch it for fun. Last year, I even bought a Cold Slither t-shirt from 80stees.com, which does not sponsor me, but I’m plugging them anyway. So, as you can tell, I am a fan of that episode.
Earlier this year, I saw a post that there would be a San Diego Comic-Con exclusive 40th anniversary collection of Cold Slither action figures, featuring Zartan and the Dreadnocks in their Cold Slither attire. I thought that was pretty cool, and was glad to see this great episode getting some attention.
Just about two months ago, YouTube suggested a video to me, it was called “Cold Slither – Official Lyric Video, The Anthem That Shook the World.” Naturally, I clicked the link (and you can too, right here) and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, it was a new recording of the classic Cold Slither theme song. I immediately went to the Google and discovered that there was a real band going around as Cold Slither now and not just that, they had played a show in conjunction with the San Diego Comic-Con, and were going to be playing a show when the New York Comic-Con would be happening just about on month later. Being that I live near New York City, I had to know more.
After confirming the date of the concert, I informed my girlfriend about the show and how much I wanted to go. She agreed to go with me, so I got the tickets. I listened to their full-length album a few times before going to the show. Yes. They have a full-length album, and it’s good. Is it good enough to appear in my Top 10 Albums of the Year blog that will be posted in late December? You’ll just have to wait to find out.
The show itself was loads of fun. They start off with the GI Joe cartoon intro, and then Cobra Commander appeared on a screen to discuss how he didn’t like being in New York, due to that incident on the Statue of Liberty in 1987 (see the opening of the 1987 GI Joe movie for that reference). From there, Cold Slither took the stage and played all of the songs from their album. The final song of their set was “Cold Slither.” The song from the episode. I sang along. Every word. I had a huge smile on my face, and I felt emotional. I’ll explain more about that in a minute.
The encore for the band was them coming back and singing “Cold Slither” again, but this time with more audience participation. At their San Diego show, the encore included an appearance by Jem (yes, the actual singer from the 1980s Jem cartoon) to sing the Jem theme. We didn’t get that, unfortunately. That would have been truly outrageous. Yeah, I said it.
When the show was over, the band did a meet and greet downstairs. They were all in character. Ripper handed out donuts while talking about how he wanted some grape soda, while Torch and Buzzer talked about how much they wanted some as well. As someone who knew the characters, I was loving every second of this. I got to speak to Zartan, the singer for a moment. I said “this may sound weird, or it may make a lot of sense, but I can’t thank you enough for tonight. I’ve been singing that song for 40 years and to be able to do it tonight was so much fun. Thank you. As you can probably tell, I’m a fan.” Zartan rolled down his arm band a bit to show me a GI Joe themed tattoo and he said “So am I. Thank you.”
While, on the surface, my conversation with Zartan was nice and it was just two people showing their appreciation for the legacy of the cartoon and the franchise, as a whole, it was a lot deeper than that. Being that I liked the band so much, I wanted to know more about the individual members and the bands that they’re in. Zartan is portrayed by Gus Rios. He’s played drums in bands such as Malevolent Creation, Gruesome, and Left to Die. That’s a good resume, but that it isn’t what made an impact on me. It was his story about depression, his attempt on his own life, and how as a child, his toys such as GI Joe and the Transformers were his friends.
I found that to be very powerful. I often locked myself away in my basement and played with the GI Joe and Transformers toys that I had. I would sometimes mix in the Star Wars toys too in a massive intergalactic war, but I digress. I don’t know if playing with the toys and feeling connections to the characters had as deep of an impact on me as it did with Gus Rios, but I could relate to his story. I’m glad that he was able to share it. Not just because it’s a good story, but because he’s with us and he got to enjoy being a part of the lore that he enjoyed so much as a kid.
You never know what someone is going through. You never know how much something as simple as attending a concert, even one that is featuring a band based on one episode of a children’s cartoon from 40 years ago, can mean to someone. I had a great time at that show. It was a very memorable experience. By no means did the show attract a large crowd, but it attracted people who were very passionate about what they were about to see (and some significant others that were with them to support them). And the people that bought the tickets enjoyed 60ish minutes of nostalgia in the form of heavy metal music, and some videos in which I’m pretty sure Cobra Commander indoctrinated all of us into his “ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.”
Was this a once-in-a-lifetime experience for me? It very well could have been. Yes, it meant that much to me, and others. The GI Joe and Transformers universe mean that much to me. Their recent co-existence in the new Energon Universe comic books is what brought me back to the world of comics. So, as I said those 60ish minutes were magical. And for the time that I was there, I felt like I was (said in Destro’s voice from the “Revenge of Cobra” mini-series) “on the roof of the world.”
My attention span is not good. And it seems to be getting worse. Staying focused on tasks during my professional and during my leisure times has been challenging lately. I’m not sure how to rectify this problem.
For a while, I had been using an app to list my daily tasks, but I’ve been neglecting that recently. I write down everything that I hope to accomplish during the next day. However, I often repeat items because I do not complete them.
I started reading a book earlier in the year about time management. It’s a pretty small book. I haven’t finished it. I’ve mentioned that before. The irony isn’t lost on me.
Sometimes I wonder if human brains are like computers that need to dump cache every once in a while. Do we hit capacity? Does it become more difficult to maintain focus or remember things as we get older, just naturally?
When I was attending elementary and high school in the 1980s and 1990s, I was called lazy and unfocused. If I were in school today, I would likely be diagnosed with a form of attention deficit disorder and I would be treated for it.
I’ve recently attempted mindful practices including some meditation, but during those sessions, my brain won’t shut up. The lessons being taught to me are often lost. I used to do workout sessions that lasted anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours. I’m lucky if I can focus enough for 30 minutes now. Although, 22ish minutes often seems ideal. I would blame my cell phone and the Internet for all of my distractions, but I don’t play with my phone during workouts or mindfulness.
If I’m watching a movie, I turn my phone off and for the most part, I’m fully engaged. But, at the same point, I don’t remember much of it when I’m watching sequels. I’m currently re-watching a TV show that I watched when it was first one about a decade ago. Other than one scene that I’ve re-played countless times on YouTube, I barely remember the show.
My current task at hand is this blog entry. I’m somewhat focused on it and I’m doing my best to not get distracted.
In these entries, I’ve often talked about how everything starts over at the beginning of the month. I could tell you how seriously I’m taking it with the start of a new month tomorrow, but why would you believe me if I keep having the same issues? Well, the way that I’m looking at it now is how I’m about repeat a few things that happened a few years ago and good results came from them. I’m hoping to see the same results. Of course, results don’t happen if one doesn’t do the work. And all know that the work is SO important.
Various things in my life need to improve. It’s my hope that if I get one thing going, the rest will get easier. I don’t expect everything to just fall into place, but with some improvement, I’m hoping that the path to self-improvement will become easier. I have somewhat of a plan. I should be able to….
In what seems like a lifetime ago, during my retail days, I would hear lots of corporate jargon. Upper management would feed us terms like “area of opportunity.” I couldn’t stand that term when I first heard it. I also didn’t really understand it. Now, I am a bit older. I’ve (possibly) become a bit wiser. I do understand it and I’m working on some areas of opportunity in my own life.
Understanding the term is not enough. It is important to understand that something I haven’t accomplished is not a failure. Something I struggle with isn’t a loss. Both are opportunities for improvement.
One thing in my life that I’ve had consistent struggle with lately has been my weight. No matter how much I want to lose weight, I haven’t been able to do it. I have so many tools at my disposal to be healthier and to get the work done, but I haven’t been able to do enough with it. I know that it isn’t just that I’m not getting results, but I haven’t done enough. I’ve had success before, and I will again. But, there’s more factors at play here too.
Another thing that I really need to time management. If I managed time better, would I be able to have more time to do some more work on exercise and my weight? I started reading a book earlier in the year about time management, but I still haven’t finished it. There’s irony there. One of the lessons that I read and learned from the book is about how people often sacrifice personal time in favor of work. We’ve been programmed to feel worse about not getting tasks done than if we don’t do something for ourselves. In my case, I think that I need to realize that my exercise/weight loss work is both personal and a task.
I like when I achieve goals. Even the simple ones like making sure that I come home to a clean room with a made bed after going out. Finishing a 5k race is a great feeling for me, even if my time is slower than it used to be.
Some tasks need more time and effort than others. I need to do more for myself. I need to find ways to get things done. I need to come up with ways to find, or make, time to guarantee that my goals are met. And that includes things like writing this particular entry.
I’m enjoying my life a bit more than I’m used to. Things are good for me. Perhaps I should put more focus on things like that and not the things that aren’t good. But, as I stated earlier, it’s the programming. My lack of success is more prominent in my mind than my success. But, if I changed my mindset, I would not think of lack of success as a failure. Instead, I should see it as an “area of opportunity.” Maybe then I’ll be enthusiastic about the opportunity to fix it. Enthusiasm is better for me than negative thoughts. I guess my mindset about areas of opportunity is also another area of opportunity for me to work on.
Just two months ago, I wrote an entry about the gratitude that I have for friendships. It touched on a few other things, but the inspiration for that entry was a brief conversation with a friend that I knew through running local 5k races. A few weeks ago, I read a post on Facebook that stated that 5k friend had died. I was (and still am) crushed. He had a heart attack at the very start of a race and that was it. That was a not so subtle reminder of how quickly everything can change.
I’ve definitely had my share of loss. I battle depression. I have anxieties. I’ve been dealing with all of that for years. Being down for so long and not having much to show for anything has made me appreciate so much of what I do have. I have so much gratitude for being here. I have gratitude for the things that I do. I have gratitude for my friends. I’m just very grateful. Perspective keeps me grounded, I believe. But, as obvious by what I said at the start of this entry, bad things can happen. And also, as I’ve often said in entries, it’s another reminder to “enjoy every sandwich” and take nothing for granted.
At one point last year I was at a Professional Wrestling show. I was talking about how grateful I was for the privilege of being gifted those seats and how surreal things can be in my life at times. I was then reminded that both of the people that both of the people that I was attending with could very well have not been there. To be clear, that doesn’t mean that they could have not attended. It means that they had both had scares over the year or so before and may not be with us anymore. I felt silly for being happy about expressing my gratitude for complimentary tickets, since in the grand scheme of things, that wasn’t the important aspect of that moment.
I’ve made jokes about my quest for balance and how I often achieve that by having major setbacks just as something really good happens. A good case being my new car two years ago. I just got a promotion and a significant pay increase. My car broke down very soon after that and I needed to get a new one. And there went my extra income. I’m very much aware of how much better off I am now with the new car. However, I don’t have the extra money.
Life, in general, is full of things like this. It seems that no matter how close I get to goals, something backfires somewhere. I’ve been proverbially under water for most of my life. And to make it worse, I can’t swim. But, I digress. I’ve been under water. Very often I see the life raft and I reach for it, but just as it’s within reach, I’m pulled back down.
My instinct is to shut down. My instinct is to make myself uncomfortable. My mind tells me that I deserve the suffering. My mind tells me that this is how it’s supposed to be. I know that isn’t the right way to do things. My overall shift from misery to gratitude has done wonders for me. I know that I’m so much better off (mentally and emotionally) than I’ve ever been. And yet, I’m still in the same place.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’ve made bad choices. I’ve also made some very good choices. In the very near future, I may have to make some difficult choices. I may need to make some big changes. As much gratitude as I have for all that I have, could I have more? Would having more in some places mean having less in others? I don’t know. How much time do I have to get things right if all I’m doing is trying to get them right? Will they ever be right? How perfect do I need things to be?
I think the path I’m on, while often a rollercoaster with lots of detours, roadblocks, and traffic stops, has led me to a fork in the road. There are various directions this can go. I want to be able to enjoy every sandwich and be successful. Perhaps I just need to modify my concept of what all of that means.
As I always state in my late June entries, my birthday is in early July. Because of that, I really do see my calendar years as distinct halves. And I will always start to look back at what’s happened over the past six months and, in this year’s case, look back as the 49th anniversary of my birth is just days away.
This upcoming birthday is a tough one for me. It’s the last one before the big “five o.” For the past few years, I’ve seen myself as being on a roller coaster slowly heading towards 50. And, I’m heading towards the last descent to it. That particular age milestone is on the horizon. I feel this reflective entry may be deeper than others I’ve made.
If I compare myself to where I was at this point last year, it’s a bag of mixed results. I was in a weird emotional place last year. I faced things that I’ve never faced before. I don’t want to face them again. I’m financially better off, in the sense that I make more money than I have before. I’m financially the same in the sense that my expenses don’t go down and I have trouble saving anything.
My weight has blown up to the highest that it’s ever been. I am very much aware of that. I know that as we get older, it is much more difficult to lose weight. Getting in shape also becomes harder. I’ve made good progress before and I WILL make good progress there again. It requires a lot more dedication and effort than I’ve ever put in before. It will need some lifestyle changes. I’ve been taught the lessons. I just need to put things in practice (again) and good results will happen.
Sometimes I wonder if my overall progress in life is stunted by emotional trauma. Can I not move past things into new chapters because I’m too scared to do it? Some of you may find this difficult to believe, but I do sometimes overthink things. Sometimes, a lot. I usually convince myself that I will fail if I do things differently.
One of the things that I’ve attempted over the course of the past year is to be more mindful. I’ve attempted daily (guided) meditation. I say “attempted” because I can’t shut my mind up when I do it. It drifts often. I don’t get too discouraged. The guides often say, “if you’ve drifted, now is a time to come back.” The truth of the matter is that I do enjoy my effort here. I feel that it’s helping me.
I’ve always had difficulty thinking about my future. This may go back to the trauma thing. I can’t picture what my life will be. I’ve only been able to see what it is and what it was. There’s been some change there as I’ve recently been able to see what I don’t want my life to be. If that makes sense. It does to me. That’s a good thing, right? I know what I don’t it to be. I just have to make sure to not end up where I don’t want to be. I believe that’s a step in the right direction.
I had planned to reference my first full length entry on this site during the course of this one. I will do so. When I went back in the archive, I looked at THE very first entry. I think it sums up the previous paragraph pretty well. Although, after reading it I wonder if I’ve made any progress in life. Am I overthinking all of it by saying that? Or, is it possible that the previous paragraph shows that I’m finally getting there?
The first full length entry that I did on here was called Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Balance. I published it just over 13 years ago. I’m still pursuing that balance. I’ve often joked that the balance is that I’ll be thriving in some parts of life while suffering in others. I wish that was less of a reality than I perceive it to be. I guess it’s all a matter of perspective.
After reading that entry, I’ve realized that I didn’t discuss some things that I said I would. But, I digress.
Earlier this year I started reading a book about time management. It’s a really short book. The irony that I haven’t finished this book isn’t lost on me. But, I did get some valuable lessons from it. The one lesson that stood out is the importance of taking time for myself. Not in a selfish way, but to make sure that my needs are met and not to put sacrifice “me time” for work that can be done later. That doesn’t mean that I should procrastinate. It means that I should do those things when I can. I’m trying really hard to abide by that. It’s a difficult task at times.
I have said things that imply that I have doubts about the direction of my life. However, I assure you that it’s just due to my instinct. This instinct is due to the programming of my mind. I do believe that I’m heading in a good direction. I’m heading towards a life where I could get the encouragement that I’ve lacked, the fulfilment that I’ve never had, and the happiness that (dare I say) I deserve.
How do I get there? How does the impending milestone birthday next year fit in to this? Is 50 THE time to finally make these things happen? Is it the mile marker in which I decide if my life is a success or not? Life and time move so fast. They both seem to move so much faster as we get older. Earlier I said that I’m on the descent to 50. What if I’m not? What if the roller coaster that I’m on is actually climbing towards a peak? What if this isn’t a valley? What if I am actually rising?
Does it sound like I’m trying to convince you or myself of the possibilities? Both are probably true. Either way someone could believe it and it could end up being me.
My biggest hope right now is that when I write my entry one year from now, while I’ll be days away from 50 is that I look back at this one and say that I did believe in me. I want to be able to say that there’s obvious positive change and obvious progress. Time may be moving quicker, but there’s time to make it happen. I have work to do. We know the work is SO important.
Just a few weeks ago, I ran my first 5k race of the year. As I turned the first corner in that race, my eyes started to tear up. Not because of the abundance or pollen in the air, but because I was getting a little bit emotional. It’s pretty common for that to happen shortly after a race begins. But, this time, I wasn’t just thinking about the feeling I get for accomplishing a 5k race. It was more complex than that.
My mind was racing, quicker than my legs. To be honest, that’s not difficult at this point, but I digress. Just a few minutes before the race had started, I was talking to a friend who was also running. I know him because of the races that I run. We’ve run so many of the same races that we started talking at them and became friends. My mind went from “it was nice to see him” to “I’ve made friends during races” to “I make friends everywhere” to “holy cow, I have friends!”
Someone realizing that they have friends shouldn’t be a big deal. But, for me, at that (probably inconvenient) moment, it meant everything.
About 11 years ago, I wrote an entry talking about how lonely I felt. I always felt that. I could have been surrounded by people that I knew and was friendly with, but I still felt isolated and lonely. There’s been a few moments in the time since when people have told me that things that countered my feeling, and I’ve doubted it less and less, but that moment in that race, it really sunk in.
My hobbies include watching Professional Wrestling, going to concerts, watching old TV and movies, and running the occasional 5k race. I’ve made friends and acquaintances through every single one of those things. And yet for years, I still felt lonely. I didn’t feel alone, just lonely. Not anymore. Now, I feel a tremendous sense of gratitude for things.
It’s taken me a long time to get here but I’ve arrived. How did I get here? It was a long journey. It took a lot of conversations. Some were with myself, which were probably not as productive as they could have been. The voice in my head likes to fill my mind with all of the doubt that it was programmed to believe. One particular conversation with a friend helped to push me over the proverbial hump when he told me that I manifested all of this by just talking to people. That sounds pretty simple, right? And obviously, it was true. But, for some reason, it never sunk in. I could be surrounded by all of those people that I knew just because I started a conversation with them and still feel isolated. But right now, at this very moment, even though nobody is near me as I’m writing this, I don’t feel isolated, lonely, or separated from people.
I don’t just feel connected to other people. I feel connected to myself. Maybe that was the key to unlock the door? I’m not going to analyze that thought too much right now. But, I am proud of myself for realizing it and for thinking of that wording.
What did I just say there? “I am proud of myself.” I used to never be able to say that and believe it. Now, I do believe it. If being ashamed is the opposite of being proud, I don’t know if I was every truly ashamed of myself, but I just wasn’t proud. I was made to feel ashamed of myself, often for things that others had done. That weighed me down for years. Positive reinforcement can do wonders for someone. It just takes a lot longer to undo the piles of negativity that have been placed on top of you.
As I’m writing this, I’m less than 24 hours away from running in my 50th official 5k race. I can’t help but think “wow” when I think about that. My finish times are slower than they used to be. I’m working on that. But, while running ONE 5k, let alone 50, is something that should be celebrated, this entry isn’t about my physical races. It’s really about the race inside of my head. And from where my mind is right now, it looks like when I turned that corner a few weeks ago, I really did turn a corner.
This entry is about time. What does that mean? Maybe you should take the time to find out.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines “time” as “A finite extent or stretch of continued existence, as the interval separating two successive events or actions, or the period during which an action, condition, or state continues.” Based on that definition, we’re all clear on what it is, right? Okay. So, I don’t need to continue with this entry, do I?
I’ve been thinking a lot about time. How much do I spend? How much do I waste? Do I have enough? I think the same questions about money, but unlike money, once time is spent, it’s gone. It cannot be replenished. The thing about time is once it’s gone, it’s gone. Can we add to it? How? I can make more money, can I make time? Much like money, time is a commodity. But, that’s really all that they have in common. How we spend our time is very important. We need to make the most of it, but how? That’s the big question, isn’t it?
It may be redundant to say that time can seem like an eternity. I’m proud of that last sentence, but I digress. While it may seem like an eternity at times, it also goes by so quickly. And it seems to speed up as we get older. And let’s not forget that 2020-2022 Pandemic times when every day seemed to blend together.
Does time exist? Much like everything else that governs our lives, time is a man made concept. 60 seconds in a minute. 60 minutes in an hour. 24 hours in a day. Between 28 and 31 days in a month. 12 months in a year. Some years have 365 days, some have 366. For a certain period of time during the year, we set our clocks back to extend our availability to daylight. If I fly from my most local airport on the East Coast of the United States to an airport on the West Coast, I will have traveled through three different time zones. How is any of this possible? Am I a Time Lord? No, it’s just because time is made up.
When I was a kid, I remember a character on a local radio show (which I’ve later learned was a syndicated character sold to various radio stations, but I digress… again) who would state “Time is a waste of time. Time is the enemy!” Is time a waste of time? What constitutes wasting time? If I sit around and relax or rest, am I not using the most of my time? Is it wrong to see that as saving up energy for a later time?
I’ve taken too much time (which is open to interpretation) reading a book about time management. I think that I’ve learned some valuable lessons from that book. Although, it could be argued that by taking so long to read it, I haven’t learned anything, but once again, I digress. We put such value on our personal time, and we should. But, we’re more likely to cut our personal time than our work time. We’re so afraid to not finish every bit of work that we have to get done that we don’t maximize our down time. And way too often, we use our down time, our relaxation time, just to prepare to spend more time doing non-leisure things.
Earlier, I asked how do we make the most of our time? What does that mean to you? It means something different to everyone. On many days, I’ll feel like I’ve made the most of my time by getting a lot accomplished, be it work or leisure. Yes, being completely caught up on Days of Our Lives or reading comic books counts as getting stuff accomplished. And of course, the logo of Days of Our Lives is an hour glass, which is used to measure time. So, of course it ties in here. Yes, you guessed it, another digression.
We know that we cannot replenish time. We’re always running out of time. Is that why we rush through things? Is that why we don’t “take our time?” What does it mean to waste time? How can we make up time? How much time have I spent thinking about this? How much time has it been since I started writing this entry? How much time was spent being distracted by my parrots calling for me or my need to get laundry done? Why does laundry always take up so much time? How does anything take “too much time” when time isn’t a real thing, but only a concept?
I think we’ve been wondering about things like this since the beginning of time. But, when did time begin? How did time begin? Does it really end? Is there really such a thing as the beginning of time or the end of time?
If we can’t go backwards in time, once the past has passed, why does it linger?
My subscription to Time recently lapsed. That’s the magazine, not the concept of time.
How much time do any of us spend just thinking about time? How much time does it take to get something done? How much time have we spent doing this or doing that? How long will it take to cook dinner? How much time will I save if I use the microwave? What if we don’t have enough time to cook something? We can just order something and have it delivered. And you know what? It’ll take about the same amount of time that it would have for you to cook something.
I’ve put a lot of time and thought into this entry. My guess is that you’ll save time by skimming through it or not reading it at all. But, I do appreciate the time that you’ve spent even thinking about reading this. I hope you appreciate the time that I put into writing it. Until next time.
I have no tolerance for bullies. I have no tolerance for people in power enacting policies that belittle people. I have no tolerance for hatred. I have no tolerance for bigotry. I have no tolerance for intolerance.
I’ve been the victim of bullies. I vividly remember the fear that I often had while walking the halls of my high school. I vividly remember the dread that I often felt while walking home from high school. I didn’t fit in. I had long hair. I read comic books. I wasn’t one of the cool kids. And others made it a point to mock me for my interests. Sometimes, they would even physically hurt me. I survived. I’m in a very good place right now. But, I’m very scared about the rise of bullies.
The once and current President of the United States is a bully. He’s a racist. He’s a bigot. He does not care who he hurts as long as he helps himself in the process. He has zero compassion for minorities of any kind. Women, people of color, LGBTQ people, and basically any religion that isn’t a form of Christianity is likely to be targeted by him. And his barrage of public bullying has enabled and emboldened a rise of bullying, hate crimes, and overall discrimination.
Many people use the cliche statement, “I have many (fill in minority category here) friends.” Then they make decisions that hurt those alleged friends. Claiming to have black friends doesn’t give you the right to make decisions that hurt them. Claiming to have LGBTQ friends doesn’t give you the right to deprive them. And yet, that’s what many people do. It happens way too often.
The United States of America has come a long way. If you wanted to argue that the USA has not made a lot of progress with equality, I wouldn’t argue with you. Recent events have set progress back, possibly for decades. Yes, the country is inherently filled with systemic racism. Yes, a lot of policies benefit straight white men over anyone else. But, progress towards equality was being made. As slow as it may have been moving, that progress was happening. As of late, I don’t feel like we’re moving forward at all.
If we must use political labels, I am a Progressive. I want progress. I want every single person, regardless of who they are, to be treated equally. I want them to be able to paid fairly. I want them to have access to affordable health care. I want them to be able to get legally married. I want people to be able to fulfil Thomas Jefferson’s concept of them having unalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The ability to pursue life, liberty, and happiness is not easy for some people. For many, it’s an outright painful struggle.
I like reading about history and politics. I know how got to where we are today. I’m not going to get into that particular topic in this entry. Discussing it would turn this into a novel. I like to understand thing. I’m also okay with not understanding some things. There’s a lot of things in the universe that I don’t know the answers to. Not understanding something doesn’t usually fundamentally upset me. However, for the life of me, I cannot understand why people need to be cruel. I cannot understand why people need to belittle differences. I cannot understand why some people think it’s acceptable to take away rights from innocent human beings. And not only don’t I understand any of that, it really does upset me.
I don’t usually end my entries like this, but I want to thank you for reading this one. Please do something to make a positive difference in someone’s life today. The world needs it.
I always write an entry at the end of each year where I look back and ask myself the same question that I asked myself one year earlier. “Am I better off than I was one year ago?” This year, it isn’t a question. Is everything in my life perfect? Not even close, but my life being better than it was one year ago is obvious, even to me.
I’ve taken my health seriously for a while. That really only meant that I’ve regularly had my annual physical for almost 15 years. I go to my dentist and eye doctor regularly. It wasn’t until 2024 when I really started to dig deeper.
I took a simple step by seeing a foot specialist. This was to address the pain in my left foot, particularly in my big toe. I even brought an extra left shoe. to the appointment to show the doctor how the soles get worn out on my left shoes. He took one look and knew exactly what my problem was. I have flat feet and collapses arches. I was given custom orthotics for my feet and it’s helped A LOT.
Another thing I did was going to a sleep specialist. From the study that they did, it was determined that I have sleep apnea and I had averaged 24.5 episodes per hour. To be clear, that meant in that study, I had stopped breathing 24.5 times on average, per hour, while sleeping. That sounds scary, right? I now use CPAP machine when I sleep and my episodes per hour have dropped to an average of 1.5. In so many of my entries here I’ve talked about my lack of energy. The sleep apnea was a BIG reason for my lack of energy. I was not getting a good night’s sleep, no matter how many hours I was in bed.
Like past years, I competed in a few 5k races. My results weren’t at the levels when I was at my best. But what is my best now? Is just finishing my best? Are my personal records out of reach? I don’t think there’s any shame in not being incapable of running as well as I did. It’s natural that my abilities have changed since I was in my late 30s. I’m now in my late 40s and the “Big Five O” is approaching somewhat quickly. However, I’m determined to compete in more races in 2025 than I did in 2024. I also aim to achieve better results than I did in 2024. How am I going to do this?
I am committing myself to my physical health in 2025. That means that I WILL drop the extra weight that I put on during the year. Unfortunately, that weight is what I had hoped to lose in 2024 and then-some. I’m going to make some healthier choices with food and drink. I’m going to re-commit myself to exercise via apps that I have, YouTube pages, and the gym. I’m going to do the work. The work is SO important.
It isn’t just my physical health that I’m committing to, it’s my mental health. Make no mistake, I’ve taken my mental health very seriously over the past few years. I’m VERY PROUD of the progress and decisions that I made about my mental health in 2024.
I’ve started using apps to check in every day about my mental health. I’ve begun attempting meditation. I say attempting, because I’m not good at it… yet. I’ve starting using card with affirmations to remind me of how good things are. Which leads me to the next thing that I want to discuss.
There’s also things I did not do this year. I felt it would be better for me to NOT participate in them. In the past, I would have said that quitting was just easier for me. Not partaking seemed more convenient. But I don’t see it that way now. I see it was me protecting myself from uncomfortable, awkward, and (most importantly) unhealthy situations.
As someone who has often had problems being optimistic about basically anything, I was always focused on what I don’t have. That mindset has changed a bit for me and now I really do focus on what I have. And I don’t just focus on that specific things, I’ve focused on the gratitude that I have for what I’ve been able to achieve and/or been allowed to achieve.
I was recently at an event. I discussed a specific moment of gratitude with someone very important to me. During that discussion, she pointed out something significant. I was attending that event with two people. These two individuals were close to death at various points over the past few years. She was right. It took my gratitude for all of it to a new level. I appreciate that amount of perspective. I’m glad that I have it. And the amount of gratitude that I have for her (on various levels) is huge.
In addition to things that I’ve already discussed, if there’s any “area of opportunity” in my life that I need to work on, it’s my finances. Like, the other things that I’ve discussed, I think that I have the tools at my disposal to make the necessary changes to get things back under control and to make a difference. Steps have already been taken to make it happen. I just need to do the work. And, as we know, the work is SO important.
Two things that I always mention in my end of year entry are my reading goals and a specific workout goal. I did not come close to my reading goal. I always want to read at least 12 books per year. I read 6. But, I read a few comic books too. Does that count? The specific workout goal is my ability to do a Black Crow pose in the DDP Yoga workouts. According to what I’ve written, I managed to get one done in 2021. Still, I do know that I did it at least once in 2024, just not well. My new goal there is to be able to get it done and hold it for more than a second or two.
For some reason, I opened my 2014 end of year entry today and read it. I guess it didn’t hurt to see how I was feeling 10 years ago. My immediate thought was “wow, I haven’t changed much.” I did not like that perspective on it. I think I have. I think I’m in a much better place than I’ve been in a very long time, if not ever. I know that things aren’t perfect, but I also know that I have the tools at my disposal to make things better. I may not have all of the skills to get it all done on my own, but I don’t need to. I’m content. I’m not complacent. I’m grateful.
In my entry from this past June, I quoted a bunch of people. One was Philip Jack Brooks. His philosophy on life and when asked how he’s doing, he’ll reply “I woke up today.” He explained how that’s a good thing. He seems to have gratitude as well. I also talked about Warren Zevon and his “Enjoy Every Sandwich” outlook to life. I’ve used that one for a while. But, it seems to me that the various pieces of the happiness/gratitude puzzle are coming together for me better than they have before. Things are making sense.
My New Year’s Resolution is ALWAYS the same. It’s always “I want to make it better.” I want my 2025 to be better than my 2024. I’m going to make a significant effort to see that through. It may be a difficult road at times, but I’m going to keep navigating forward. I don’t know where I’ll end up on that road. If I keep going on the path that I’m on, I believe that when I start writing my 2025 year-end entry, I will say, “I woke up today, I enjoyed every sandwich, and I appreciated every moment with every person.” If I can say that, the year will have been pretty good. And, I’ll be very grateful for that.
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