Tag Archives: health

The Monolith of the New Day.

Posted by MaskedSanity on

I always write an entry at the end of each year where I look back and ask myself the same question that I asked myself one year earlier. “Am I better off than I was one year ago?” This year, it isn’t a question. Is everything in my life perfect? Not even close, but my life being better than it was one year ago is obvious, even to me.

I’ve taken my health seriously for a while. That really only meant that I’ve regularly had my annual physical for almost 15 years. I go to my dentist and eye doctor regularly. It wasn’t until 2024 when I really started to dig deeper.

I took a simple step by seeing a foot specialist. This was to address the pain in my left foot, particularly in my big toe. I even brought an extra left shoe. to the appointment to show the doctor how the soles get worn out on my left shoes. He took one look and knew exactly what my problem was. I have flat feet and collapses arches. I was given custom orthotics for my feet and it’s helped A LOT.

Another thing I did was going to a sleep specialist. From the study that they did, it was determined that I have sleep apnea and I had averaged 24.5 episodes per hour. To be clear, that meant in that study, I had stopped breathing 24.5 times on average, per hour, while sleeping. That sounds scary, right? I now use CPAP machine when I sleep and my episodes per hour have dropped to an average of 1.5. In so many of my entries here I’ve talked about my lack of energy. The sleep apnea was a BIG reason for my lack of energy. I was not getting a good night’s sleep, no matter how many hours I was in bed.

Like past years, I competed in a few 5k races. My results weren’t at the levels when I was at my best. But what is my best now? Is just finishing my best? Are my personal records out of reach? I don’t think there’s any shame in not being incapable of running as well as I did. It’s natural that my abilities have changed since I was in my late 30s. I’m now in my late 40s and the “Big Five O” is approaching somewhat quickly. However, I’m determined to compete in more races in 2025 than I did in 2024. I also aim to achieve better results than I did in 2024. How am I going to do this?

I am committing myself to my physical health in 2025. That means that I WILL drop the extra weight that I put on during the year. Unfortunately, that weight is what I had hoped to lose in 2024 and then-some. I’m going to make some healthier choices with food and drink. I’m going to re-commit myself to exercise via apps that I have, YouTube pages, and the gym. I’m going to do the work. The work is SO important.

It isn’t just my physical health that I’m committing to, it’s my mental health. Make no mistake, I’ve taken my mental health very seriously over the past few years. I’m VERY PROUD of the progress and decisions that I made about my mental health in 2024.

I’ve started using apps to check in every day about my mental health. I’ve begun attempting meditation. I say attempting, because I’m not good at it… yet. I’ve starting using card with affirmations to remind me of how good things are. Which leads me to the next thing that I want to discuss.

There’s also things I did not do this year. I felt it would be better for me to NOT participate in them. In the past, I would have said that quitting was just easier for me. Not partaking seemed more convenient. But I don’t see it that way now. I see it was me protecting myself from uncomfortable, awkward, and (most importantly) unhealthy situations.

As someone who has often had problems being optimistic about basically anything, I was always focused on what I don’t have. That mindset has changed a bit for me and now I really do focus on what I have. And I don’t just focus on that specific things, I’ve focused on the gratitude that I have for what I’ve been able to achieve and/or been allowed to achieve.

I was recently at an event. I discussed a specific moment of gratitude with someone very important to me. During that discussion, she pointed out something significant. I was attending that event with two people. These two individuals were close to death at various points over the past few years. She was right. It took my gratitude for all of it to a new level. I appreciate that amount of perspective. I’m glad that I have it. And the amount of gratitude that I have for her (on various levels) is huge.

In addition to things that I’ve already discussed, if there’s any “area of opportunity” in my life that I need to work on, it’s my finances. Like, the other things that I’ve discussed, I think that I have the tools at my disposal to make the necessary changes to get things back under control and to make a difference. Steps have already been taken to make it happen. I just need to do the work. And, as we know, the work is SO important.

Two things that I always mention in my end of year entry are my reading goals and a specific workout goal. I did not come close to my reading goal. I always want to read at least 12 books per year. I read 6. But, I read a few comic books too. Does that count?
The specific workout goal is my ability to do a Black Crow pose in the DDP Yoga workouts. According to what I’ve written, I managed to get one done in 2021. Still, I do know that I did it at least once in 2024, just not well. My new goal there is to be able to get it done and hold it for more than a second or two.

For some reason, I opened my 2014 end of year entry today and read it. I guess it didn’t hurt to see how I was feeling 10 years ago. My immediate thought was “wow, I haven’t changed much.” I did not like that perspective on it. I think I have. I think I’m in a much better place than I’ve been in a very long time, if not ever. I know that things aren’t perfect, but I also know that I have the tools at my disposal to make things better. I may not have all of the skills to get it all done on my own, but I don’t need to. I’m content. I’m not complacent. I’m grateful.

In my entry from this past June, I quoted a bunch of people. One was Philip Jack Brooks. His philosophy on life and when asked how he’s doing, he’ll reply “I woke up today.” He explained how that’s a good thing. He seems to have gratitude as well. I also talked about Warren Zevon and his “Enjoy Every Sandwich” outlook to life. I’ve used that one for a while. But, it seems to me that the various pieces of the happiness/gratitude puzzle are coming together for me better than they have before. Things are making sense.

My New Year’s Resolution is ALWAYS the same. It’s always “I want to make it better.” I want my 2025 to be better than my 2024. I’m going to make a significant effort to see that through. It may be a difficult road at times, but I’m going to keep navigating forward. I don’t know where I’ll end up on that road. If I keep going on the path that I’m on, I believe that when I start writing my 2025 year-end entry, I will say, “I woke up today, I enjoyed every sandwich, and I appreciated every moment with every person.” If I can say that, the year will have been pretty good. And, I’ll be very grateful for that.

Break Yourself Through the Clouds and Build Above Those Sleepy Buildings.

Posted by MaskedSanity on

For the past few months, my entries have dealt with my health and some concerns that I had about it. This entry will also deal with that, but I think it may go a little deeper. It’s one thing to have questions about your health, it’s another thing to have some answers, and it’s even better when you’re on the track to improving things.

My March entry discussed how I had no energy. I said that it was more than tired. I could have slept all day, but I would still have no energy. It almost didn’t matter how much I slept. But, as it turns out, I may not have been sleeping. Discussing my lack of energy with my primary doctor, it was suggested that I take part in a sleep study. I did that and the diagnosis came back that I have sleep apnea. I’m on the higher end of the moderate side of it, closing in severe. As soon as I heard that diagnosis, I became so much more calm than I was before. The diagnosis for the issue didn’t cure it, but it did alleviate anxiety related to it.

So, where does that leave me now? Well, for the past two weeks, I’ve been using a CPAP when I sleep. And while I’m still getting used to it and I still wake up in the middle of the night, I have been able to wake up and be more functional in the morning. That alone is a big deal.

The thought of wearing the CPAP mask to sleep brought up some childhood memories that weren’t pleasant. When I was younger, I had two buck teeth and a pronounced overbite. I got braces to deal with the teeth. But, in addition to the braces, my orthodontist gave me a bite plate and headgear to help with the overbite. I was supposed to wear the headgear a lot more than I did. I was terrified of going to school with it. I knew what was coming if I did. And I was right. I was relentlessly mocked for wearing it and I never wore it to school again. In one day, probably a small portion of the day, progress that I needed to make for my health was stunted due to school bullies.

The CPAP isn’t the only thing that I use for my health. I am quite vitamin D deficient, so I take pills for that every day. I suffer from dry eye syndrome, so I use prescribed eye drops for that twice per day. I use a prescribed nasal spray daily to alleviate pressure in my ears. I also recently got custom orthotics made to help deal with my flat feet. The orthotics have already made a noticeable difference. I have significantly less discomfort in the one foot that was mostly impacted by this and that could also lead to my knee and hip having less issues.

Why am I sharing all of this, besides just for the sake of content? It’s not because I want a common theme in my entries from month to month, although, that’s not a bad idea. It’s not because I had nothing else to write about, which is partially true. It’s mostly because there’s nothing wrong with getting help. Doctors exist to help us. Eye drops, orthotics, dental contraptions, and CPAPS are all useful things. There should be no shame felt for any of this. Anyone that makes you feel lesser than for needing any of them is an ass.

As I hinted at in my most recent prior entry, I have seen first hand what could happen to someone who doesn’t listen to doctors or go to them for anything. I don’t want to follow that example. I want to make sure that I can do the things that I need to do in order to be not just healthier, but better. I think I’ve taken the right steps and I’m going in the right direction.

My immediate goal is to get used to using the CPAP. From there, I should start to see my energy levels increase, since the use of it should enhance the quality of my sleep. When that is achieved, with my new levels of energy, I can probably get more accomplished in a day including more impactful workouts. And since I have my custom orthotics in my shoes now, I should be doing less damage to my feet, knees, and hips if I do some cardio work.

One of the things that various doctors have told me is that some of the issues that I have could improve if I were to lose some weight. That’s been a struggle for me lately. Some people that know me may think that I haven’t put forth a lot of effort in that area recently, but the truth is that I haven’t had the energy to do as many workouts as I would like to have done. I truly believe that everything that I’ve discussed here today should help me get to where I need to be physically. And I also hope that when I start to see and feel more physical results, that my mental health will improve a bit too. It’s nice to know why things are the way they are. And as members of GI Joe often said, “knowing is half the battle.”