Tag Archives: Life

You Had Your Time, You Had the Power. You’ve Yet to Have Your Finest Hour.

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Talk radio has always been a big part of my life. Even before I started listening to it on my own, it was playing in my house. I don’t remember if my mother was the one listening to him, or if it was when my grandmother would visit, but I remember hearing Bernard Meltzer’s call-in advice quite a bit. He was most famous for asking his callers “What’s your problem?”

I was aware of Meltzer and some other names that were big in the New York area such as the obvious ones like Don Imus and Howard Stern. But, I wasn’t listening. Maybe because I was too young, but I just wasn’t listening on my own. But, that changed for me in August of 1989. My dad was aware that SportsRadio 66, WFAN in New York had a one hour show late on Saturday mornings that discussed professional wrestling. And he let me stay up one weekend shortly before WWE’s SummerSlam ’89. His hope was that I would hear spoilers and not want to order the show on pay-per-view. Well, I listened to the show, I heard some speculation as to what was going to happen, and we still ordered the show.

But, something happened that night while listening to WFAN. Or more specifically, something didn’t happen. I never changed the frequency.

The host that I listened to that night was Jody McDonald. His shows were overnights on weekends. But, it was the weeknight overnight show ,that really became my favorite. The host of that was Steve Somers. While having a very good amount of sports knowledge, he had a unique delivery and show. He blended humor, inside jokes, and production to the broadcast, which was from midnight until 6am. Being that the overnight show was longer than most of the other shows on the air, callers were able to get a bit more time to talk on the air, and many of them became regulars and developed cult-like followings.

I used to listen to WFAN any chance that I could. I knew the station’s entire schedule. I knew all of the hosts. I even called in a few times and made it to the air three times. Once with Jody McDonald where I discussed the Yankees not using a pitched that I liked (Chuck Cary), once with Steve Somers where I talked about the Mets’ fans needing to get over losing Daryl Strawberry to the Los Angeles Dodgers, and once with WFAN’s flagship show Mike & and the Mad Dog where I talked about the Yankees not needing to sign Jason Giambi since they didn’t need a big name to boost ratings.

If I wasn’t listening to WFAN late at night, I was watching movies. And two movies that also had an impact on my fascination with radio were Pump Up the Volume and Talk Radio. Pump Up the Volume spoke to Gen-X and the angst we felt. It also made “pirate radio” look really cool. Talk Radio showed how powerful the medium can be. It also showed the danger of it, which I’ll get into a little later.

In the mid-90s, while riding in a bus or driving to college, I would listen to Howard Stern in the morning. It was some of the funniest stuff that I ever heard. In fact, I remember one time when I was late for a class because I was listening to Gilbert Gottfried on Stern’s show appearing as Rabbi Farrakhan and I would not leave my car until it was done. I’m not going to explain that bit, but it’s on YouTube. The irony is that the class that I was late to was a radio production class. Yes, I went to school for radio.

After I got my associates degree in communication, I went to the Connecticut School of Broadcasting in Hasbrouck Heights, NJ. While I was there, I got more of education in TV and radio production. I also heard horror stories from many of the schools guest instructors, who were all working in TV and radio somewhere. Some of them would talk about how great the business was and some would talk about how difficult it was to make a career in it. It was also a weird time in the radio industry just as Satellite Radio was about to start. There were also a lot of corporate mergers and radio jobs were becoming more difficult to find. I never had dreams of being a personality, I preferred the behind-the-scenes production.

Just about one week after I graduated from the Connecticut School of Broadcasting, I accepted a job with a retail company that offered me a lot more stability than I thought would have in the world of radio, and I never really looked back.

Talk radio, and now podcasts, are community building. The listeners can feel bonds with the hosts. It’s like we know them personally. Sometimes, they feel like family. Talk radio can also be very dangerous. The power of political talk radio is very obvious. Check out the great documentary called the Brainwashing of My Dad and you’ll see the impact of someone who spends all day listening to hate speech of a particular ideology and you’ll see what it can do to people.

While WFAN is still the pre-set on the radio in my room, and I use it as one of the (many) alarms that I use in the morning to (attempt to) wake up, I don’t listen to it as much. My radio listening is mostly podcasts, but I’m getting the same experience. I get the entertainment and the community.

This entry was partially inspired by the Steve Somers’ memoir that I just read called Me Here, You There: My Three Decades Overnight, Under the Covers, Schmoozing S-P-O-R-T-S as Captain Midnight for WFAN.” If you are familiar with him, you understand all of that. The book reminded me of how much I enjoyed listening to him and the rest of WFAN’s lineup. It also reminded me of how much I enjoy radio and podcasts now. At times, they’re a lifeline. A distraction from reality. They’re a in-depth entertaining history lesson of a whatever subject I’ve chosen to learn about it. Talk radio will never go away. It may evolve, but it will survive in one form or another. It’s a valuable thing and I’m grateful for what I’ve gotten out of it.

Well, I went to the doctor, I said, “I’m feeling kinda rough…”

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I try my best to be serious about my health. I make sure do have my annual physical. I don’t just do this because it’s what I should do. I do it because I’ve seen what happens when you don’t do it. Over the past few years, I have learned something important about myself. It takes a little more effort to stay healthy.

I’m (rapidly) approaching 50 years of age. I’ve experienced a slowing down of my metabolism. The amount of effort that it used to take to lose 10 pounds isn’t enough anymore. I ache in places that I didn’t use to ache.

I don’t want to be someone that relies on too many pills to regulate things in my body. I want to avoid that for as long as I can. And, so far, I’m basically okay there.

This year’s physical was just about two weeks ago. As a result of some questions that I had an how the results of my tests came back, I’ve already seen some more doctors, and I have more appointments on the way. So far, it looks like everything that’s wrong with me is a result of being overweight. I had put in a plan in place to tackle that even before I had the physical.

I’ve made some changes to my diet. I’m eating better again. I’m eating slower. I’m drinking more water. I’ve (mostly) cut out sugar. I’m paying attention to my calorie count. I’ve started exercising regularly again and I’m following a plan that I’ve come up to get myself back into shape for some 5k races later in the year. By no means is it an elaborate plan, but there’s enough of a plan.

My physical health is not the only thing that I’ve been put a concentrated effort into working on in 2026. I’ve also put a much greater focus on my mental health. I’ve found using a particular app a few times per day has kept me very grounded with my mental health. I’m trying my best to practice mindfulness and to just continue with the gratitude for all that I have.

My physical health and my mental health are not things that I take for granted. Both require consistent effort to remain in good shape. I’m doing the work.

The year is only one month old, but I think I’m on the right track. I’m genuinely optimistic about my health.

I’m not ashamed of getting help with my health. I have sleep apnea. I treat that with a CPAP machine. It’s greatly increased my sleep. I have depression and anxiety issues. I treat that with therapy. I’m overweight. I’ve begun seeing a nutritionist/dietitian for that.

Health insurance companies truly do want you to be healthy. Sure, it’s mostly due to them not wanting to pay out on services, but that’s almost not the point. If you go to your provider’s website, you’ll find so many tools and services that are designed to keep you healthy. I’ve earned cash rewards from my provider this year due completing various activities. All that you need to do is look at the website and I’m sure you’ll find rewards programs and discounts on health related things. I’m glad that I did.

I used to be angry, resentful, cynical, and bitter. I think it’s fair to say that I’m (almost) optimistic about things now. I have a lot of gratitude and I’m basically in a much better place. I included the “almost” there because it’s impossible to be completely optimistic about life when you see what’s happening in the world right now. But, I know that eventually things will turn around. It may get (a lot) worse before it gets better, but it will get better.

A joke that I’ve made about my health recently is that I’ve told people that I defer to a song by Warren Zevon (which you can listen to here and this blog’s title references) to describe my health. I don’t think that I’m quite as bad as the song describes, but I understand the sentiment of the song. Being healthy requires effort. It doesn’t just happen. I’m doing the work and I’m pretty confident that I’m going to see good results when I get my next round of tests.

To Vanish for Life and Promise to Stay.

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Just two months ago, I wrote an entry about the gratitude that I have for friendships. It touched on a few other things, but the inspiration for that entry was a brief conversation with a friend that I knew through running local 5k races. A few weeks ago, I read a post on Facebook that stated that 5k friend had died. I was (and still am) crushed. He had a heart attack at the very start of a race and that was it. That was a not so subtle reminder of how quickly everything can change.

I’ve definitely had my share of loss. I battle depression. I have anxieties. I’ve been dealing with all of that for years. Being down for so long and not having much to show for anything has made me appreciate so much of what I do have. I have so much gratitude for being here. I have gratitude for the things that I do. I have gratitude for my friends. I’m just very grateful. Perspective keeps me grounded, I believe. But, as obvious by what I said at the start of this entry, bad things can happen. And also, as I’ve often said in entries, it’s another reminder to “enjoy every sandwich” and take nothing for granted.

At one point last year I was at a Professional Wrestling show. I was talking about how grateful I was for the privilege of being gifted those seats and how surreal things can be in my life at times. I was then reminded that both of the people that both of the people that I was attending with could very well have not been there. To be clear, that doesn’t mean that they could have not attended. It means that they had both had scares over the year or so before and may not be with us anymore. I felt silly for being happy about expressing my gratitude for complimentary tickets, since in the grand scheme of things, that wasn’t the important aspect of that moment.

I’ve made jokes about my quest for balance and how I often achieve that by having major setbacks just as something really good happens. A good case being my new car two years ago. I just got a promotion and a significant pay increase. My car broke down very soon after that and I needed to get a new one. And there went my extra income. I’m very much aware of how much better off I am now with the new car. However, I don’t have the extra money.

Life, in general, is full of things like this. It seems that no matter how close I get to goals, something backfires somewhere. I’ve been proverbially under water for most of my life. And to make it worse, I can’t swim. But, I digress. I’ve been under water. Very often I see the life raft and I reach for it, but just as it’s within reach, I’m pulled back down.

My instinct is to shut down. My instinct is to make myself uncomfortable. My mind tells me that I deserve the suffering. My mind tells me that this is how it’s supposed to be. I know that isn’t the right way to do things. My overall shift from misery to gratitude has done wonders for me. I know that I’m so much better off (mentally and emotionally) than I’ve ever been. And yet, I’m still in the same place.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’ve made bad choices. I’ve also made some very good choices. In the very near future, I may have to make some difficult choices. I may need to make some big changes. As much gratitude as I have for all that I have, could I have more? Would having more in some places mean having less in others? I don’t know. How much time do I have to get things right if all I’m doing is trying to get them right? Will they ever be right? How perfect do I need things to be?

I think the path I’m on, while often a rollercoaster with lots of detours, roadblocks, and traffic stops, has led me to a fork in the road. There are various directions this can go. I want to be able to enjoy every sandwich and be successful. Perhaps I just need to modify my concept of what all of that means.

We Will Overcome This System.

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I have no tolerance for bullies. I have no tolerance for people in power enacting policies that belittle people. I have no tolerance for hatred. I have no tolerance for bigotry. I have no tolerance for intolerance.

I’ve been the victim of bullies. I vividly remember the fear that I often had while walking the halls of my high school. I vividly remember the dread that I often felt while walking home from high school. I didn’t fit in. I had long hair. I read comic books. I wasn’t one of the cool kids. And others made it a point to mock me for my interests. Sometimes, they would even physically hurt me. I survived. I’m in a very good place right now. But, I’m very scared about the rise of bullies.

The once and current President of the United States is a bully. He’s a racist. He’s a bigot. He does not care who he hurts as long as he helps himself in the process. He has zero compassion for minorities of any kind. Women, people of color, LGBTQ people, and basically any religion that isn’t a form of Christianity is likely to be targeted by him. And his barrage of public bullying has enabled and emboldened a rise of bullying, hate crimes, and overall discrimination.

Many people use the cliche statement, “I have many (fill in minority category here) friends.” Then they make decisions that hurt those alleged friends. Claiming to have black friends doesn’t give you the right to make decisions that hurt them. Claiming to have LGBTQ friends doesn’t give you the right to deprive them. And yet, that’s what many people do. It happens way too often.

The United States of America has come a long way. If you wanted to argue that the USA has not made a lot of progress with equality, I wouldn’t argue with you. Recent events have set progress back, possibly for decades. Yes, the country is inherently filled with systemic racism. Yes, a lot of policies benefit straight white men over anyone else. But, progress towards equality was being made. As slow as it may have been moving, that progress was happening. As of late, I don’t feel like we’re moving forward at all.

If we must use political labels, I am a Progressive. I want progress. I want every single person, regardless of who they are, to be treated equally. I want them to be able to paid fairly. I want them to have access to affordable health care. I want them to be able to get legally married. I want people to be able to fulfil Thomas Jefferson’s concept of them having unalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

The ability to pursue life, liberty, and happiness is not easy for some people. For many, it’s an outright painful struggle.

I like reading about history and politics. I know how got to where we are today. I’m not going to get into that particular topic in this entry. Discussing it would turn this into a novel. I like to understand thing. I’m also okay with not understanding some things. There’s a lot of things in the universe that I don’t know the answers to. Not understanding something doesn’t usually fundamentally upset me. However, for the life of me, I cannot understand why people need to be cruel. I cannot understand why people need to belittle differences. I cannot understand why some people think it’s acceptable to take away rights from innocent human beings. And not only don’t I understand any of that, it really does upset me.

I don’t usually end my entries like this, but I want to thank you for reading this one. Please do something to make a positive difference in someone’s life today. The world needs it.

Covenants Were Sealed and Set.

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Based on what I want to say in this entry, I think this one may end up being a direct continuation of last month’s. But, then again, every entry is basically a continuation of my previous one. That’s how this works. I’m obviously off to a good start. I’ve said nothing significant yet and I’m already leading into the phrase “But, I digress.”

But, I digress…

The theme of my last entry seemed to be my gratitude for things in life. I’m still feeling that gratitude. Thanksgiving was yesterday, so I’m going to change it up. Let me say how thankful I am. And, I really am. I’m very much aware of how much better things in my life are than they have been. By no means are things perfect, but (in many ways) they’re better than ever.

I’m thankful that I have the opportunity to make things right in some areas of my life where I’ve struggled. I’m thankful that I’m in a much better position than before to make the effort to make those things right. I’m thankful for the people and things that have helped me get to that position.

One of the things that I’m most thankful for is the perspective that I have. I believe that it’s important to understand perspective. It’s important to know that in the dark times, things can get better. It’s important to appreciate what you have. I could easily focus on the things that I don’t have instead of what I do have. What will that get me? Jealousy, angry, resentment, bitterness? I have had all of those. I no longer have use for them.

I’m thankful for simple pleasures. Over the past year, I’ve taken up reading comic books again. But this time, I’m reading them on my tablet instead of the physical books. I get the same enjoyment out of reading them that way as I do from reading the real things. It makes no difference. I think technology is great. It is amazing that I can even get these books and so many older ones on a tablet. Yes, the Internet amazes me. It still does.

Getting serious for a moment, I’m so very thankful for some particular people in my life. Earlier, when I mentioned things that I don’t have, I was thinking about this particular topic. There are some people that I had in my life, then I didn’t, and I do again. For various reasons, I won’t get into specifics of anything here. The situation went from not having them, to possibly not having the option to have them in my life again. Now, I have them back and (in my opinion) in a stronger capacity than before. I’m extremely thankful for that.

I’m thankful that I have the chance to write this entry. I’m thankful that people may read it. I’ve said “I’m in a good place” a few times lately. I’m still there. I don’t want to leave. Although, I do believe that my Good Place is flexible. In the sense that it could get better. Look at me, sounding optimistic and hopeful. Who knew how much perspective, gratitude, and thankfulness could do for someone?

Mend Your Ways Before They Tear You By the Seams.

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I’m on a self-improvement journey. That’s what I’ve been telling myself and my readers for a while. It wasn’t until somewhat recently that I’ve really started to believe it for myself. I’m making progress. I’ve been told about it. And like I just said, I’m starting to believe it.

So many bad habits, behaviors, thoughts, and feelings were programmed into me for years. Parents, teachers, classmates, society in general. I have so many sources for it. To be completely clear, I’m not blaming anyone. I’m stating how I see it and I’m trying to fix things for myself.

During this past August, I was incredibly disciplined with my workouts and my mindfulness. I was working towards a specific goal. I wanted to be ready for a 5k that I was going to run at the end of the month. Once that passed, the workouts went by the wayside again. Other good practices that I truly enjoyed during the month also fell apart. I’ve joked (too often) that the start of a new month means that I can start again. Well, I’m planning to do that again with the new month that starts tomorrow.

I felt good about myself during August. I was putting in the important work and I truly felt the difference. Now, at the end of September, I don’t feel as good about myself. I don’t feel bad about myself. Just not as good. While, I’ve slacked with certain things, I also think that I improved some other areas of my life too.

I’ve often spoken of my need for balance. I don’t think I want balance right now. I don’t want to give up on some things while improving others. I want to improve all of them. I guess balance could still be a part of that. However, I may need to adjust the scales of my life a bit. Of course, while I adjust those scales, I really want to decrease the number on the scales that weigh me, but that’s part of my self-improvement journey.

I have a good support system. I have resources at my disposal. I need to use these resources. If they’re apps or books, I need to take advantage of their lessons. If they’re friends, I need to reach out and hear their words. Not just listen to them, but hear them. But, they also need to listen to me. You cannot help me if you don’t where I’m coming from. You cannot help me if you don’t know why I think the way I think. You cannot help me if you do not understand me.

Digging deeper into that last paragraph. I’ve begun to listen to others more closely. I’ve made it a point to hear their words. It’s just another aspect that I’m trying to improve.

I need to escape the behaviors, patterns, and thoughts that bring me down. I need to be better. I need to do the work to get there. And, I think I’m on the right track. Every so often, my mind tries to tell me that I’m not doing it, but I try to ignore it.

I’ve been told that I often look back too much. I don’t know if that’s completely true. Even if I do look back often, I think it’s necessary. You cannot get to where to you want to be if you don’t know where you’ve been. My past (good and bad) has brought me to where I am today. Only through understanding where I’ve been can I get to where I want to be.

So, where am I going? I’m not totally sure. But, I know that I’m heading forward. I also know that I like where I am. Where I am is good.

Break Yourself Through the Clouds and Build Above Those Sleepy Buildings.

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For the past few months, my entries have dealt with my health and some concerns that I had about it. This entry will also deal with that, but I think it may go a little deeper. It’s one thing to have questions about your health, it’s another thing to have some answers, and it’s even better when you’re on the track to improving things.

My March entry discussed how I had no energy. I said that it was more than tired. I could have slept all day, but I would still have no energy. It almost didn’t matter how much I slept. But, as it turns out, I may not have been sleeping. Discussing my lack of energy with my primary doctor, it was suggested that I take part in a sleep study. I did that and the diagnosis came back that I have sleep apnea. I’m on the higher end of the moderate side of it, closing in severe. As soon as I heard that diagnosis, I became so much more calm than I was before. The diagnosis for the issue didn’t cure it, but it did alleviate anxiety related to it.

So, where does that leave me now? Well, for the past two weeks, I’ve been using a CPAP when I sleep. And while I’m still getting used to it and I still wake up in the middle of the night, I have been able to wake up and be more functional in the morning. That alone is a big deal.

The thought of wearing the CPAP mask to sleep brought up some childhood memories that weren’t pleasant. When I was younger, I had two buck teeth and a pronounced overbite. I got braces to deal with the teeth. But, in addition to the braces, my orthodontist gave me a bite plate and headgear to help with the overbite. I was supposed to wear the headgear a lot more than I did. I was terrified of going to school with it. I knew what was coming if I did. And I was right. I was relentlessly mocked for wearing it and I never wore it to school again. In one day, probably a small portion of the day, progress that I needed to make for my health was stunted due to school bullies.

The CPAP isn’t the only thing that I use for my health. I am quite vitamin D deficient, so I take pills for that every day. I suffer from dry eye syndrome, so I use prescribed eye drops for that twice per day. I use a prescribed nasal spray daily to alleviate pressure in my ears. I also recently got custom orthotics made to help deal with my flat feet. The orthotics have already made a noticeable difference. I have significantly less discomfort in the one foot that was mostly impacted by this and that could also lead to my knee and hip having less issues.

Why am I sharing all of this, besides just for the sake of content? It’s not because I want a common theme in my entries from month to month, although, that’s not a bad idea. It’s not because I had nothing else to write about, which is partially true. It’s mostly because there’s nothing wrong with getting help. Doctors exist to help us. Eye drops, orthotics, dental contraptions, and CPAPS are all useful things. There should be no shame felt for any of this. Anyone that makes you feel lesser than for needing any of them is an ass.

As I hinted at in my most recent prior entry, I have seen first hand what could happen to someone who doesn’t listen to doctors or go to them for anything. I don’t want to follow that example. I want to make sure that I can do the things that I need to do in order to be not just healthier, but better. I think I’ve taken the right steps and I’m going in the right direction.

My immediate goal is to get used to using the CPAP. From there, I should start to see my energy levels increase, since the use of it should enhance the quality of my sleep. When that is achieved, with my new levels of energy, I can probably get more accomplished in a day including more impactful workouts. And since I have my custom orthotics in my shoes now, I should be doing less damage to my feet, knees, and hips if I do some cardio work.

One of the things that various doctors have told me is that some of the issues that I have could improve if I were to lose some weight. That’s been a struggle for me lately. Some people that know me may think that I haven’t put forth a lot of effort in that area recently, but the truth is that I haven’t had the energy to do as many workouts as I would like to have done. I truly believe that everything that I’ve discussed here today should help me get to where I need to be physically. And I also hope that when I start to see and feel more physical results, that my mental health will improve a bit too. It’s nice to know why things are the way they are. And as members of GI Joe often said, “knowing is half the battle.”